tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34333669436951118502024-03-14T02:05:09.144-04:00RAP MUSIC HYSTERIA!SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.comBlogger317125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-35592141732202126332023-06-11T03:05:00.002-04:002023-06-11T03:06:02.793-04:00THAT OLD NEW<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/F-jrVqlwLTc" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><div><br /></div><div><b>STREET LORD'Z PLATINUM - COME ROLL WITH A NI--A (1999)</b><br /><p>Not trying to be a rap republican, but this is the best rap song I've heard since the last time I've blogged. Your boy is sinking deeper into the delirium of old age and he likes it. Some honorable tracks have come across the dash, but do any of them confirm the longstanding connection between Bay (proto-)hyphiness and Detroit grit? They do not.</p><p>I am too young to figure out how to embed a video on Blogspot, too old to do anything else, so I will spend the remainder of this post trying to jerry-rig some primitive HTML. As I used to say in more carefree days: "CHUUUUUUUCH."</p></div>SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-78272153375972717592023-05-08T16:40:00.004-04:002023-05-08T17:32:32.289-04:00BACK LIKE COOKED CRACK<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/I0T7rYW1Gro" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><p><b>SMITTY FT. KANYE WEST, SCARFACE, AND JOHN LEGEND - GHETTO (2005)</b></p><p>It's sick, in every sense of the word, to think that I'm still moving through culture. I've lost a step. My hair is turning white, the kids laugh at the Pyrex Vision logo plastered across my ass, but I don't know what else to do with myself, and so I move onward.</p><p>The <a href="https://twitter.com/richcoastrican/status/1655401907626688513?s=46&t=9LA-ZnJCZTu2CvGPYs5v1Q">reappearance of the '03 XXL Freshmen</a> list got me reminiscing on the raps of my youth that fell through the cracks. Little Haiti's Smitty earned local airplay and a Hype Williams video with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=nCUG8paVX5w">"Diamonds on My Neck,"</a> an underrated slab of Swizzy 2.0, before his debut album was shelved and he was banished back to his old ghostwriter haunts. According to a Wikipeia citation terminating in a 404 error, Smitty is currently signed to Blackground/Interscope and will be releasing an album "in the near future." Time is relative. We may very well be banging new Smitty on our Nanos before this blog is updated again.</p><p>"Ghetto" is about as mid-00s as you could ask for: Kanye soul sample, John Legend providing the melodic counterpoint to Ye's talk-hook, a Scarface verse for some reason. I'm not complaining. Everything is so self-contained that Smitty ends up being an also-ran on his own track. Was Twista busy that day? Did someone owe Smitty a favor? His presence makes no sense, as if an armchair rapper deepfaked himself into the object of his fantasies.</p>SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-59328021270857216932020-04-25T02:02:00.000-04:002020-04-25T02:18:41.740-04:00SHE MY JERSEY CLUB QUEEN, MET HER AT THE BRICK BANDITS SHOW<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PDWI4hZTvmY" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
When will Jersey club get its <i>Wire </i>gentrification? We've seen it happen for various forms of regional dance music (ghettotech, footwork, Balitmore club), but Jersey remains relatively untouched by the dance voyeurs and Yung Alan Lomaxes of the world*. Theories:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ol>
<li><a href="https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/qkabvb/you-think-you-know-but-you-have-no-idea-the-difference-between-baltimore-philly-and-jersey-club">Too similar, aesthetically, to Baltimore club.</a></li>
<li>The New Jersey brand has been irreparably damaged by the likes of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6upatWc7bQ">Tommy Cheeseballs,</a> Joe Buddens, and <a href="https://absurdandobscure.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/ricktalifeonanhorse.jpg">Rick Ta Life.</a></li>
<li>Detroit has contributed richly to American music and people will always care about the city's music. Chicago has the legacy of house music, varying levels of media infrastructure, and people with the means and inclination to document. Baltimore has some of these things. Newark, for the most part, does not.</li>
</ol>
<div>
Whether it was ignorance or "Trap Queen" fatigue, I missed this when it first came out in 2017. Paterson's biggest rap export collaborates with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie6VBxk7Ofg">one of Newark's leading young EDM exponents</a> and we slept?<br />
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It doesn't help that the production dulls the more <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOIXrXdOvjg">dizzying</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HInjxDhpM3Q">aspects</a> of the Jersey club sound, registering as a conventional 2017 rap song to the unbriefed ear. Was Jayhood playing it safe in hopes of a crossover career? Was Big Thinkpiece putting pressure on Fetty to produce another "Trap Queen?" Why would Jayhood put his verse before a multi-platinum artist's? As always, the probable answer comes in the form of a YouTube comment:<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VIyeoqIbxEU/XqFathQz1tI/AAAAAAAACDc/fr97rLncnVkjwqcXtpLtkVeYGWdy2iLRQCK4BGAYYCw/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2020-04-23%2Bat%2B4.50.58%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="110" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VIyeoqIbxEU/XqFathQz1tI/AAAAAAAACDc/fr97rLncnVkjwqcXtpLtkVeYGWdy2iLRQCK4BGAYYCw/s400/Screen%2BShot%2B2020-04-23%2Bat%2B4.50.58%2BAM.png" width="400" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">* <i>Vice </i>appears to have pushed it before and after <a href="https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vvnwdd/check-out-part-one-of-our-jersey-club-documentary-series-presented-by-sengled">their documentary on the genre</a> debuted, but the coverage tapers to nonexistence by the time the <i>Thump</i> money dried up.</span></div>
SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-6039584818657924502020-04-14T17:25:00.002-04:002020-04-14T17:25:56.818-04:00TIKTOK ON THE CLOCK, BUT THE THREATS TO NATIONAL SECURITY DON'T STOP<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ts499cqXrXY" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Yo, Dro! I know you’re not that young anymore, and I get it. In an effort to gain younger readers, I’ve been disguising myself as a zoomer—anime graphic tee, orange raver pants, the puffiest of white Balenciagas—and walking around community colleges with a baggie full of Adderall, careful not to tip them to the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WJFjXtHcy4">age-revealing viral hit</a> from whence I took the idea.<br />
<br />
“Sup bro,” I say. I dab once to ingratiate myself. “Yoooo deadass bro, how lit are Death Grips? Yeah, I don't remember 9/11 either.” I hit the Juul. “No cap, my droog, that and <i>My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy</i> opened my mind to rap. I’m a deadass simp for those doomer vibes. Fr fr, how lame is the boomer remover? ‘Ok, boomer,’ right? Hey, have you read Rap Music Hysteria? It’s a really lit rap blog on Blogspot. <i>Blog</i>-spot. B-L-O-G-S-P-O-T. Forget it, I’ll Snapchat you the link. Alright, see you on Fortnite!”<br />
<br />
It’s not my proudest moment, but at least I haven’t sunken to Dro’s level and started deadass, high-key, no-cap simping for TikTok! Are you insane, Dro? TikTok has been <a href="https://twitter.com/davidhogg111/status/1242921757419483139?lang=en">declared a threat to national security by zoomer political figurehead David Hogg</a>. As much as I enjoy the cutting-edge comedic stylings of TikTok’s nascent Marty Allens and Sid Caesars, my solemn duty as a patriot comes before my laughter. Y'all memes and jokes are fun, quoth Hogg, but <a href="https://www.archives.gov/exhibits/powers_of_persuasion/use_it_up/images_html/ride_with_hitler.html">when you ride with TikTok, you’re riding with Xi Jinping!</a><br />
<br />
Dro, you’re a legend and an innovator. If you need help reaching this younger generation, I’ll deadass lowkey swing by on an electric scooter (fr fr) and supply you with several baggies of prescription drugs popular with the zoomer demo—cause, no cap, I’m a Young Dro simp 4 life.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-2428258199912291052020-04-11T02:57:00.001-04:002020-04-11T05:52:51.619-04:00ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN WE AIN'T HAD HUMAN CONTACT IN WEEKS<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-3Vc6JOtBRI" width="560"></iframe><br />
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When Spotify dropped this on my Release Radar playlist, I initially thought this man had stolen away with the 2007 zeitgeist and plopped it down in 2020 like B-Frase in <i>Encino Man</i>. Alas, it's an old track masquerading as a new release, but its striking similarity to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEB-DDk2LFc">"Shone"</a> inspires fanboy visions of an alternate timeline in which post-Thizz Bay Areans meet BallGreezy and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNeEvjTGN4E">Grind Mode</a> for a cross-continental movement of diaphanous MDMA club rap.<br />
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The actual rap? Not great. KidSpitz is a placeholding jobber, neither here nor there; then, like a rude and intense pop-up ad, E-40 appears with a copy-paste verse completely inconsonant with the elegantly lumbering mood. If I heard this in the club, I would have cold sweats and heart palpitations. I would lose my appetite for hedonism and take a smoke break outside. No one wants fast raps when they're rolling, 40!<br />
<br />
It's all about the beat—the tone it sets, the era and psychoactive states it recalls. Though <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwpmiKZBDrz/">now paraplegic</a>, BrownieRogue continues <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-1A_waJKB_/">mixing, mastering,</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9neIISJjNW/">breaking news</a> for the <a href="https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/04/08/i-just-feel-targeted-in-exclusive-interview-bay-area-rapper-a-wax-vows-to-fight-felony-charges-say-hes-innocent/">legally embattled A-Wax.</a><br />
<br />
If I escape COVID-19 with my life, I'm buying a '98 Mitsubishi Eclipse. I'm putting neon underglow and an obnoxious muffler on the motherfucker and rolling down Collins with the "Turnt Up" instrumental blasting until the cops drag me to TGK, peak Ja Rule levels of MDMA in my system.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-61275510922965472682020-03-24T03:35:00.000-04:002020-03-24T04:54:59.284-04:00AN ACCEPTABLE AMOUNT OF HARD FOR THE FUCKIN' RADIO<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UHa7UT0k0SY" width="560"></iframe><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>ARTIST UNKNOWN, "CAR CRASH SLIP OR FALL," DATE UNKNOWN</b><br />
<br />
For years, TERRESTRIALiens have known that 411 Pain has <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgGH6Wrhq8M">the hardest commercial jingles</a> in the game. From <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1JXhlsdcas">heart-on-sleeve pathos</a> to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvisKVpWP3U">parodic gallows humor</a>, their musical sensibility empathizes the full range of emotion felt by someone who just got sideswiped by a jalopy. But where 411 Pain mirrors the larger trend of hybridized (or vanishing) regional styles by mining a panoply of styles, Freeman Law remains the foremost purveyor of bass music since Trick Daddy strategically euthanized the genre on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSKb0XCboHQ">"Scarred."</a> You won't hear Anquette unless you tune into the oldies station, so the closest you'll get to bass bliss are those 7 seconds (no <i>Walk Together, Rock Together</i>) of touchingly regional sponsored content. In the dialectic of global and local culture, score one for the isolationists!<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CFeT2bBXib4" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<b>GUAPDAD 4000, "PLATINUM FALCON," 2020</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
So what to make of its similarity to the chorus on Guapdad 4000's "Platinum Falcon?" Is it just an effect of the sing-songy approach and the phonetic similarity between "car crash" and "card crackin?" Am I being overbearing to suggest that Miami Bass has any claim on nursery rhyme constructions? Parallel thinking or cryptomnesia?<br />
<br />
I'm hoping it's good old-fashioned plagiarism, because an artist who rips off Freeman Law jingles is an artist I can get excited about. If we live in a world where an artist can't sample radio jingles, then the Dust Brothers died for nothing.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-58256594409885089282019-12-14T03:20:00.000-05:002019-12-14T06:07:17.879-05:0050 BEST RAPS OF 2019<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-imBUzzDwp8A/XfR0zaytw3I/AAAAAAAACCE/8wYg0ULO6dIHDy9ZE9Eh-fhoN0kEYwbEgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/2019best.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" data-original-height="321" data-original-width="570" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-imBUzzDwp8A/XfR0zaytw3I/AAAAAAAACCE/8wYg0ULO6dIHDy9ZE9Eh-fhoN0kEYwbEgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/2019best.jpg" /></a><br />
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<b>2019: a diaper odyssey</b><br />
Another year in the books, another decade in the grave. If, when I began this blog 2012, you told me I'd still be infrequently active at the end of the decade, I would've looked you in your demoniac time-traveling eyes and said, "Disappointing, but well within the realm of possibilities." Then I'd brandish my wacking baton and hold you hostage, demanding that you repent for violating the laws of space and time in between performing elaborate rap-hand choreography to an unintelligible, self-censored version of "All Gold Everything."<br />
<br />
Why persist in the tepid breeze of the digital yawn? I haven't earned so much as an oxidized penny toiling away in this sinking morass of a city. A labor of love it is not. I am Ahab in pursuit of a white whale who becomes more inscrutable with the passing of each year. It's beyond good and evil, doesn't age, occupies infinite spaces at once. I closed my eyes and it had an undercut; when I opened them I saw a rainbow mane sinking into the deep. I'm getting old. My eyes are failing. Let me die.<br />
<br />
I cannot die. Death piles up around me—<i>I saw the most Dionysian rappers of their generation destroyed by Actavis and Pfizer</i>—but I cannot die, it finds me dry and lacking, and so I make a list, a catalogue of semi-meaningful consumption.<br />
<br />
Have you seen my list?<br />
<br />
<b>2019 raps</b><br />
03 Greedo - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYTUbBVITNE">10 Purple Summers</a><br />
Z Money - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-caxlB6Rt3Y">Where Ya Sent Em</a><br />
Jooba Loc - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiCwgaml9I4">Won't Shoot</a><br />
Duwap Kaine - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKIQvoMqdRg">Plays</a><br />
TisaKorean - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlMls98X3l0">Double Dare (Soapy Anthem)</a><br />
AzChike & AzSwaye - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5z6cF8uArE">Oouh</a><br />
D Savage - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abpvAcEEbb8">Pill</a><br />
Kemba - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PYcdV1Z0Q4">Deadass</a><br />
Adé Hakim - <a href="https://6press.bandcamp.com/track/love-is-worth-my-time">Love Is Worth My Time</a><br />
Asian Da Brat - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrBQ6UH3nbg">Eskimo Flow</a><br />
Chippass, E-40, ALLBLACK - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aUccyhrz-s">Me</a><br />
Baby 9eno & Cheecho - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex1taIMSFz4">Germ</a><br />
Slauson Malone & Pink Siifu - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kyg2-EM9SNg">Off Me! and or The Wake Pt. 1 & 2</a><br />
The Mekanix & Husalah - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr5kckwTXOs">Buat My Money</a><br />
Memo 600 & King Von - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ_vT185gVs">Exposing Me (Remix)</a><br />
Quando Rondo & NoCap - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHyjGty526Y">New Ones</a><br />
Young Nudy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaEXs1KCec4">Long Ride</a><br />
Philthy Rich - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FJOYJUhCu8">Don't Forget</a><br />
FMB DZ - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjpVSq8Cw0E">2K19</a><br />
Gunna - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IqZKFElTeI">Yao Ming</a><br />
ZelooperZ & Earl Sweatshirt - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET0y32ziV_c">Easter Sunday 97</a><br />
Valee - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAYukM1FiT4">You & Me Both</a><br />
Stunna 4 Vegas - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cwZzp2gkbA">Fuckery</a><br />
Megan Thee Stallion & Juicy J - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2wX5fDoJXg">Simon Says</a><br />
Scarfo Da Plug & Brodinski - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rryhtA-N0Cs">Off The Leash</a><br />
Styles P - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYzJDfPv0l4">Give N Take</a><br />
Soldier Kidd - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7r8MzXoF3o">No Rap Cap</a><br />
Polo G - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIDTSzFSexM">Deep Wounds</a><br />
Malibu Ken - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWhDd4lUnaA">Suicide Big Gulp</a><br />
Reese LAFLARE - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URz19Xm7L_M">What's Real</a><br />
Slowthai & Mura Masa - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICBkHaMOPXs">Doorman</a><br />
Kayvo & Keezah - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dbKoCfHR9I">Chicken Talk</a><br />
Memo 600 - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqlLk8fvXm8">Steppers</a><br />
$ilkmoney - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SizFHoGQQ8k">Africa</a><br />
Lil Tecca - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XzY2ij_vL4">Ransom</a><br />
Mavi - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2gehedJRNk">Bloodbath</a><br />
Pivot Gang & Kari Faux - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRCcBfwIVmo">Mortal Kombat</a><br />
BlocBoy JB - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG7DaRYjalc">Mercedes</a><br />
Mach-Hommy & Quelle Chris - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogetT8nYkfo">Chiney Brush</a><br />
King Carter & Pink Siifu - <a href="https://kingcarter.bandcamp.com/track/problems-ft-pink-siifu">Problems</a><br />
NAV & Meek Mill - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awgcC3Mg4Zc">Tap</a><br />
Swervyy, MallyBo, B-Rock - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFLJ5DylPaw">Do Yo Shit</a><br />
Blvck Spvde & Ohbliv - <a href="https://blvckspvde.bandcamp.com/">Parallel</a><br />
Rico Nasty - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIYgNhz2ty8">Time Flies</a><br />
Blu & Oh No - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kK-egpE9DE">Boogie To Flex</a><br />
YS Ft. 1TakeJay, Ohgeesy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCAud7oqvZQ">Bompton (Remix)</a><br />
Danny Brown & Run The Jewels - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApJ1_ZliXLQ">3 Tearz</a><br />
Peso Chamberlain - <a href="https://soundcloud.com/ronaldjinka/peso-chamberlain-willie-mays">Willie Mays</a><br />
Rod Wave & Lil Durk - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cefVIm2I6BI">Heart On Ice (Remix)</a><br />
Pop Smoke - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usu0XY4QNB0">Welcome To The Party</a><br />
<br />
<b>old raps</b><br />
051 Montana & 051 Drilla - <a href="https://youtu.be/XZkg0_aiUXo">Facts</a><br />
Erule - <a href="https://youtu.be/wgf_ujr5XrE">Listen Up</a><br />
3re Tha Hardaway - <a href="https://youtu.be/Yz3GKOjYiac">Born in tha Ghetto</a><br />
Prince Rahiem - <a href="https://youtu.be/dm7a3-umcRo">Loose My Money</a><br />
Ted Kamal - <a href="https://youtu.be/hXIv4lHWOJo">How Is You Feelin Vro?</a><br />
Fonzworth Bentley, Kanye West, Andre 3000 - <a href="https://youtu.be/VpiFrg_bLA4">Everybody</a><br />
Fonzworth Bentley, Pimp C, Lil Wayne - <a href="https://youtu.be/bUfBGXXJvds">C.O.L.O.U.R.S.</a><br />
Harlem World - <a href="https://youtu.be/3Bc2disiel0">We Both Frontin</a><br />
Ma$e - <a href="https://youtu.be/IOpRO7hYa8w">Someone Like You</a><br />
Sporty Thievz - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdJzbH3nBtc">Cheapskate</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r_1P3lxtDsY/XfRzvgqrKDI/AAAAAAAACB0/xM7kLi6m3jEfcKOJnlbhkV0Vh7cxYal6gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/1e9ovs.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" data-original-height="362" data-original-width="570" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r_1P3lxtDsY/XfRzvgqrKDI/AAAAAAAACB0/xM7kLi6m3jEfcKOJnlbhkV0Vh7cxYal6gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/1e9ovs.jpg" /></a>
<br />
<br />
<b>the decade in short</b><br />
2010: roflmao check out this meme rap xD<br />
2011: no but seriously, this meme rap is actually good, this guy has heard of cormega<br />
2012: hey did you know the rappers in atlanta are taking MDMA? and that chicago has rap?<br />
2013: maybe we can build a brand intellectualizing the bones of swag-rap<br />
2014: did you know they break records in strip clubs? i hope to go to one one day.<br />
2015: hey did you know the rappers in atlanta are taking MDMA sadly and androgynously? they're doing it in strip clubs, which is where they break the records.<br />
2016: "at least we're gonna get some badass political rap! remember rock against reagan?<i>" </i>you say to yourself as zoomers follow you down the unlit street, ready to pry the zeitgeist from your aging fingers<br />
2017: where did all these crazy kids come from and why do they all like kurt cobain?<br />
2018: death<br />
2019: ok so get this, it's a branded advertainment show pairing <i>très</i> badass dababy w/ huggies's little snugglers line + death<br />
2020: doing the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs7xDde5g3I">mayor pete dance</a> as the world burns?SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-23064756221406571622019-12-06T03:54:00.000-05:002019-12-06T04:02:18.418-05:00JOE BUDDENS BEEN ON A LOSING STREAK SINCE 2009<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RaFEWrGHn_U?start=125" width="560"></iframe>
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You might object to the title of this post. "Buddens been losing since he came out his mama's womb," you say. Fair enough. In counterpoint, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySfwW_xSRU4">"Pump It Up"</a> still hits when it comes on <a href="https://vibe927miami.com/">the old fart radio.</a> Summer of '03, brah—Buddens and Young Gunz had radio hits on the heels of the summer of Diddy and Loon. <i>Diplomatic Immunity</i>, kid. <i>Chain Gang Vol. 2</i>, pal. We mistook the dying breaths of East Coast rap's mainstream viability for an evolution, a return. <i>Mea culpa</i>, motherfucker.<br />
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If you reading this blog, you know all of Buddens's subsequent actions have been laughable. Who put the battery in the back of this one-hit wonder? Buddens saw Lil B bubbling in 2010 and his moustache-twirling ass got jealous.<br />
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Fast forward after some back and forth. Joe Buddens's balding, near-death body is dropped in the Palisades once Lil B merked him on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXucM9y0fjI">the greatest diss song of the decade.</a></div>
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Can you murder <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcZzlPGnKdU">someone who's already dead?</a> A year prior in '09, ol' bloviating, delusional Buddens took exception to being behind Melle Mel on a <i>Vibe </i>list of greatest rappers. What followed was a line-by-line, clinical assassination from the swolest originator.<br />
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That alone would've been enough, but Melvin went even further by showing his proficiency with one of the more newly minted elements of hip-hop—the streaming video shitting-upon thereof. Peep game.</div>
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After taking a heinous, fact-based shit on Joe Buddens, Melle Mel seeks recourse in a chart—a 1-30 metric following a mugshot-style pipe-smoking human figure from head to haunches.</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O6ASpTuhGLY/XckeLqiulhI/AAAAAAAACAo/RBbTWdZDBPQxOPTmHnoa0ookL8kMsEh3wCEwYBhgL/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-11-11%2Bat%2B3.16.50%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="511" data-original-width="1234" height="165" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O6ASpTuhGLY/XckeLqiulhI/AAAAAAAACAo/RBbTWdZDBPQxOPTmHnoa0ookL8kMsEh3wCEwYBhgL/s400/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-11-11%2Bat%2B3.16.50%2BAM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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FIG. 1</div>
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<i>"Melle Mel is number 5. I'm around the throat-part, or the mouth-part of hip-hop."</i></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dutZUDK5e1w/Xckg9w_0E6I/AAAAAAAACAw/_sU943owBPMkXOIaUsGYStaZoOOIMNbXwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/melle%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="704" data-original-width="1478" height="190" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dutZUDK5e1w/Xckg9w_0E6I/AAAAAAAACAw/_sU943owBPMkXOIaUsGYStaZoOOIMNbXwCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/melle%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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FIG. 2</div>
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<i>"Joe Budden is down here, number 32. That's somehwere around the ass crack or the ballsack of hip-hop!"</i></div>
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Joe Buddens doesn't even fall within Melle Mel's metric. Buddens, you been trash. Come around me with your human ass-crack shenanigans and I guarantee you'll be needing the Preparation H.</div>
SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-27663490668573234062019-11-02T04:20:00.001-04:002019-11-02T04:34:44.569-04:00SCOOB LOVER IS STILL THE FATHER OF YOUR STYLE<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4yMrhQa9uj0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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I know <a href="http://rapmusichysteria.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-results-are-in-scoob-is-father-of.html">I been on this tip</a>, but why is Pressa allowed to live when <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfjwhYoW46Q">Guerilla Black</a> was mocked all the way to the rap graveyard? 'Cause he chose a more obscure artist from whomst to crib style? Admittedly, the Notorious B.I.G. is probably not the best artist to steal from if you're trying to get away with it it. It's like ripping off notorious sex pest Pablo Picasso, who gave these Young Turks (no genocide) the conceptual green light to bite style in the name of art. One time this bald idiot Pablo Picasso said some shit 'bout how good artists borrow and great artists steal, but no matter how you peel the tangelo, Pressa ain't a great artist.<br />
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Listen bruh, I get that millennial infantalization is a thing. I suffer from it sometimes like any of y'all in betwixt X and Z(oomers). Don't head into my domicile unless you want to step on hella rattles and soiled diapers. All that expressed, I don't want my rap metaphorically filling up a big spoon with baby formula and making that airplane sound as it jams that shits in my inner ear.<br />
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Pressa, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpMpjrxNhB4">you stole your whole style from Scoob.</a> Throw the man some cash or put a footnote in your shit.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-37422990578294733262019-07-16T01:50:00.000-04:002019-07-16T01:50:00.313-04:00FUCK THE DMCA! RARE AND BASED 2008 KILLER MIKE!<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fRgAK9yVCWU" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<i>My rap dirty like the piss pissed out by white men,</i><br />
<i>In </i>Celebrity RE-HAB -- <i>but this ain't RE-HAB!</i><br />
<i>So when Danny Bonaduce check out of RE-HAB!</i><br />
<i>I'ma be right there, fat sack of crack,</i><br />
<i>Sayin, "First hit's on me, here go a free gram!"</i><br />
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Vinyl sucks, dude. No reason for you to be spinning LPs unless you're old enough to remember them. Ya mans is fully digitized. <i>YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU OWN</i>, as them <a href="http://www.slicingupeyeballs.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/fugazi.jpg">Fugazi</a> boys said. Ha ha!<br />
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Like a good resigned subject, I listen to most of my music on Spotify. Better than protecting my sleeves in clear plastic condoms, fretting about whether my manly natural oils will reduce daddy's copy of <i>30 Seconds Over D.C. </i>from VG+ to VG-.<br />
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When I can't find something on Spotify, I look for it on YouTube. The 'Tube has everything but the most elite and super-rare, so why doesn't it have this Killer Mike song? Sunday Morning Massacres was a big deal when I was coming up; why is it now <a href="https://www.spin.com/2014/11/killer-mike-dj-greg-street-sunday-morning-massacres/">so forgotten</a> that one of my favorites is absent from the re-release and YouTube? Has 2008 Killer Mike been completely eclipsed by the Netflixin' 2016-present Bernie Bro?<br />
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We wanted an Ice Cube, kids. Within the contemporaneous rap culture wars, it was a victory for poptimist rap listeners to hear him rhyme rehab with rehab with rehab. 2008 was a different time.<br />
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The digital-minded, record-collecting losers on YouTube have helped me out of so many pickles. I figure I'm only repaying a debt by uploading this. Happy listens, and do enjoy the image of Killer Mike I appropriated from an PDF version of <i>Ozone.</i>
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P.S.
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To the people asking me to reupload <a href="http://rapmusichysteria.blogspot.com/2015/04/rosco-p-coldchain-better-than-99-of-you.html">the Rosco P. Coldchain compilation</a> -- I will. It's a matter of weathering my old POS Dell; but for you, the beloved non-reader, I will try to try.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-52031643809391429262019-07-09T17:46:00.002-04:002019-07-12T05:33:27.409-04:00POST-DRILL LATE PASS<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XZkg0_aiUXo" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Is this drill? Not enough of a dirge. Reminds me more of my 13th favorite song, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkU9oVGr1KE">"Can't Stop Won't Stop"</a> or <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zT4Y-QNdto">Steve Miller Band's "Fly Like An Eagle"</a>, than some hardboiled drill shit. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahm6hVxiX_8">Too much joy,</a> as them Scarsdale boys used to say, and that's all the more disturbing. It's infectious, it's got a good beat, and you can dance to it!<br />
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Genre is useful, but more than anything it exists to make a critic's job easier and important sounding. Sounds more like some vanglorious G-shit over a Pi'erre Bourne beat than anything sniffing the shavings of drill, and yet those few-and-far-between e-critics who acknowledged the jawn called it drill for extra-musical reasons.<br />
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This came out in late 2017, when I was only in the early processes of retreating into my cave. Were critics afraid of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/mar/12/stranglers-40-years-fights-drugs-ufos">getting done like The Stranglers did Philippe Manoeuvre</a> if they gave the song a bad review? The song is too good to get a bad review. Was it cancelled on account of alleged misdeeds? I don't know what the rap-crit establishment's current position on IRL violence is, but bad optics didn't keep King Von off Pitchfork.<br />
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Who knows? Death of the artist is dead at this point in time, and I'm still sifting through the wreckage of collapsed post-structuralism. Ya boy ain't a Chicago insider of any kind, so he can only ask questions. Chuuuch.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-10325408407035523222019-06-24T03:06:00.000-04:002019-06-24T03:08:40.882-04:00RIP EBE BANDZ<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qi1_S0iLlbA" width="560"></iframe>
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Feels weird writing a RIP post for Bandz, 'cause I rarely even write RIP posts for artists who have meant a lot more to me. I have no profundities or answers to dispense when an artist I admire dies.<br />
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But about a week before he went missing he came back to my attention when this joint with A-Wax came up on Spotify shuffle. "First Thing" reminded me of two things: A-Wax's facility for songs of dirtbag melancholy, and the out-of-place chubby white kid in the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2safGftL1iU">"Demons"</a> video who looked like an upper-middle FSU fratboy Rebecca Blackin' his way through a Chiraq fantasy. He claimed eastside Chicago and gang affiliation, but all that really mattered was he <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5QdCCbcxVg">actually had some skill as a rapper.</a><br />
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Around the same time I was getting deep into the rabbit hole of the equally awful and impressive <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Chiraqology/">Chiraqology subreddit</a>, where uncredentialed "insiders" and Swedish thugs catalog the byzantine cross-pollination of Chicago rap and the city's gangland underworld. Fact or fiction, these guys could be historians or true-crime writers if they ever get out of the streets or their grandmas' basement. I was reading these Heredditus's accounts of <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Chiraqology/comments/bg6tvc/king_von_was_pressing_ki_in_dms_for_some_pussy_he/">King Von sliding into K.I.'s DMs </a> and <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Chiraqology/comments/9yocu9/was_la_more_into_rap_than_the_streets/">L'A Capone's body count</a> when I read the news that EBE Bandz was missing.<br />
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Like any good crime story, the details were cryptic and gruesome. His house was trashed. <a href="https://kollegekidd.com/news/ebe-bandz-billy-da-kid-possibly-in-trunk-of-car-police-suspect/">Police thought his body might be locked in the trunk of his car.</a> Although the car was parked in his garage, they couldn't open it short of a warrant or his consent. Was the body just rotting there on account of judicial process? Adding to the intrigue, prior to his disappearance Bandz <a href="https://www.bet.com/music/2019/06/06/chicago-rapper-missing.html">allegedly pulled a gun on two young women, one of them 16, who objected to his uncle's (alleged) leers.</a><br />
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The rumor mill churned up its usual glut of cockamamie theories. Bandz was killed by rival rappers. Bandz was killed by rival gang members. Bandz was killed by collaborators or video mob-scene extras. Turns out it <a href="https://www.complex.com/music/2019/06/suspects-arrested-in-rapper-ebe-bandz-murder-case">was a couple of nerds,</a> one of whom was a friend and looks like a Latin Nick Mullen. They bludgeoned him with a baseball bat, set the body on fire, and left it in the woods of Winnebago County.<br />
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As with anyone's death, there's nothing I can say to give this resolution or meaning. I write this to remember a rapper whose songs I've enjoyed, and to relate the peculiar condition of being a rap fan on the internet in the year 2019.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-36868711976569393822019-06-11T02:57:00.000-04:002019-06-11T03:02:06.373-04:00THE RESULTS ARE IN: SCOOB IS THE FATHER OF YOUR STYLE!<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bpMpjrxNhB4" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Quit that racket about Chief Wayne or Lil Keef being the most influential artist of the past 10-15 years. Let the NBA Young Durks and Drake Boogie Wit Da Future Luccis battle out who popularized the R&B blues style we now accept as rap, cause all this time we've been ignoring the father of a quietly developing and persistent style of rap. I'm talkin' Big Daddy Kane weed carrier and back-up dancer extraordinaire Scoob, <a href="https://res.cloudinary.com/reverb-lp/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,g_center,h_450,w_450/v1/v2/images/8ea32a46-4385-4766-9de5-eb19c1595174">f/k/a Scoob Lover.</a><br />
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Ya boy checked out the Zelooperz album to see if it had any good songs <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET0y32ziV_c">besides the Earl Sweatshirt joint</a> (it doesn't really, but it does have a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1QFFDuOHw4">welcome beatjack</a> of Fat Joe's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYuNcRf7TDM">"Bad Bad Man"</a>). Halfway through, I started noticing how Zelooperz often breaks into <a href="https://youtu.be/D1QFFDuOHw4?t=81">a muted version</a> of that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlUVPNZzFS4">manic, nasal, cartoonish style</a> Danny Brown uses to mixed effect. Come to find out Zoelooperz is a member of Bruiser Brigade. Connection is clear enough, right?</div>
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But then <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLL_deYq6So">I'm listening to Pressa</a>, and I hear that same annoying style Danny Brown does, right down to the elongated rhyming words delivered with squeaking emphasis. Detroit is close to Toronto. What are the odds?</div>
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I was weaving tenuous threads like a paranoiac tackling the Zapruder film until I realized where I'd originally heard the style: Scoob Lover, 1994. For the sake of tender eardrums, I hope the style doesn't infiltrate any further, but Scoob should get something out of its resurrection. For the price of a latte, we can make sure Scoob reaps the rewards. Let's get this man a motherfuckin Patreon.</div>
SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-10812396834478612372019-06-10T03:37:00.001-04:002019-06-10T04:00:51.310-04:00CARPOOL KARAOKE WITHOUT JAMES CORDEN'S DISTENDED MARSHMALLOW ASS<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2k4e6Ojxw6k" width="560"></iframe><br />
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The best rap video I've seen this year was recorded in 2008 (give or take), and it's Soulja Boy and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMtoMrA1sYk">some erstwhile weed carriers [a]</a> karaoking <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfxlgjL-2Xs">"Vette Pass By."</a> Holy shit, what a relic. Everyone in oversized white shirts hanging out in front of a strip mall, basking in the grandeur of PEAK ERA GUCCI. This was before <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsr5kNhrMNM">Soulja shot Goomp in the butt</a>, before the rise and fall of swag-rap, before Arab got the face tats and fell out with SODMG, before Soulja boy Charla-memed his way back into semi-relevance.<br />
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I thought I'd be dead when Soulja Boy became Ice T, but here we are. What to make of Draco's career? Innovator or wave rider? Between '07 and '10 he's a Bowie character <a href="https://jezebel.com/what-should-we-say-about-david-bowie-and-lori-maddox-1754533894">minus the pedophilia</a> - lifted like a mother, but always had his finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. The first two albums are blueprint-level documents of swag-rap, <a href="https://www.complex.com/music/2016/03/soulja-boy-profile">word to Drew Millard.</a> You know all those grunge documentaries where the likes of Poison and Cinderella complain about how Nirvana ruined everything and sucked the fun away? Swag-rap was '80s hair metal, and now we're in the thick of Serious™blowback from dudes in Nirvana shirts. History repeats itself 'n' shit.<br />
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And don't forget to text WHOOP to 30303 to get "Whoop Rico" as your ringtone. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHffFMmwndU">God rest</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vnggdFBAII">the DVD era.</a> Excuse me while I kiss this low-ass bitrate.
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<i>[a]
<br />Shouts to KatKillaLove for the fire comment
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HinFU2id528/XP4LllMNdqI/AAAAAAAAB_A/artXswrd0fMAAGjVegSeWk2mT2hAk1PMQCLcBGAs/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-06-10%2Bat%2B3.46.30%2BAM.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HinFU2id528/XP4LllMNdqI/AAAAAAAAB_A/artXswrd0fMAAGjVegSeWk2mT2hAk1PMQCLcBGAs/s320/Screen%2BShot%2B2019-06-10%2Bat%2B3.46.30%2BAM.png" width="320" height="42" data-original-width="1372" data-original-height="180" /></a></i>
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<i>[b]
<br />Apropos of nathan, but also in the video and a'ight.
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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GTEWKq3Eu7Q" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe></i>
SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-63961668268085479532019-06-09T02:33:00.001-04:002019-06-09T02:33:53.460-04:00SINGLES GOIN STEADY!<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mTAlzCAapqs" width="560"></iframe><br /><br />
<b>LIL BOOSIE & NBA YOUNGBOY - SOUTHERN SMOKE</b><br />
Low-end innard tingler (nullus) from Old Man Boosie and Young Boy Youngboy. Bass certified to beat up your erogenous zones, coaxing the safe word from your lips with all the foresight of an impulse. This is the kind of intergenerational mono-regionalism that make a community-minded provincialist say, "Aye!"<br />
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Had to detox from Boosie after 2016's mixtape suite left the world blanched, so it's nice to find him in buoyant spirits. He says something about jambalaya, crawfish, and Mardi Gras, and that's enough for an all-purpose tourist like myself. Usually, the young swain NBA Youngboy allows me to indulge in my emotional side without sacrificing too much toxic masculinity, mine beloved crutch, but he is not singing sad songs here - instead he sings the chest-pounding song of self!<br />
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/F36OordEXjI" width="560"></iframe>
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<br />
<b>CHIPPASS & LARRY JUNE - BOUT ME</b><br />
It's the year 2019, and it seems Chippass is doomed to make headbangers in moderate obscurity until his sun sets. It's not exactly the most marketable music. Lil Jon snuck it into the mainstream for a couple years at the peak of crunk, a feat only possible through a rare cocktail of media savvy and pop sensibility paired with a keen understanding of vaudeville's continuing thread in American entertainment. How does one explain "Knuck If You Buck?" Three 6 and Jon primed the moment and America was always hungry for a pop song with positive references to Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. We didn't know, so we didn't ask.<br />
<br />
Larry June closes things out with a forgettably somnolent verse. Is he an industry plant or just a relatively unsuccessful act who made the bad decision of signing with a major label? Whatever the case, let's hope his mysterious industry backing catapults Chippass into the pages of <i>J-14</i> and the walls of lusty teenagers the world over. If not, we always have the #YangGang.
<br /><br /><i><b>POST WRITTEN ON 2/7/19</i></b>SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-30760477436730915782018-12-20T02:31:00.000-05:002018-12-20T15:35:44.925-05:00BEST OF 2018<img src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iC65u-1cfck/XBtEM47tlYI/AAAAAAAAB9g/DuGL9YD3RgAsF8pzJ-7DHsV2jDt-7BLmACLcBGAs/s640/lil-duval-smile-bitch-video.png" width="575" /><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Rap Music Hysteria's in-house counsel, Alan Dershowitz, has advised us to expressly state that the following paragraph is a work of satire. The actions attributed to the names are fictionalized for comical incongruence. Except for one of them, who knows what he did.</i><br />
<br />
Been off the map for the 2K18, but the spirit of mid/late-00s rap blogs compels me to submit my humble list. Jay Smooth showed up outside my window and did the cutthroat gesture. Sach from <i>Oh Word </i>left a bloody Mitchell & Ness in my bed. Brandon Soderberg said he'd leave me alone in a room with Das Racist. Eskay threatened to snap rap my pencil neck and turn my bones into Laffy Taffy. Noz said he was gonna record my death rattle, press it up on vinyl, write a blog touting it as random rap concrète, and flip it on eBay for megabucks. And O-Dub? He straight up threatened to exsanguinate me if I went derelict in my list-making. So here we go.<br />
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<i>Mr. Dershowitz also suggested we add the following paragraph for "so-called full transparency, a rhetorical convention wherein the writer seduces his reader with a shallow yet ostentatious display of truthfulness."</i><br />
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End-of-year lists are just an excuse for the circle diddle-jerk to flex and posture, so I'ma be real: I added "Bloxk Party" to my list after consulting other lists, 'cause the CIA psyop department ain't airdrop that one to the cave I been living in. Don't know if I love Rico Nasty as much as everyone else, but I included her because I don't wanna be <i>that</i> rap blogger, even though I inescapably am. In the same vein, I added and removed Doja Cat's "Mooo!," cause that shit's just too goofy. I liked moo cows when I was a baby, but these days the only animals I fuck w/ are the water oxen I use to tend my rice fields. IDK, maybe she got bangers, but I'm not gonna act like I was crankin that Doja Cat all year. "Mo Bamba" is technically a 2017 song, so his dirge shall not appear. Blueface seems like a nice guy, but as I write this he's just an argument on my timeline, so he too punches a ticket to Club Omission.<br />
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No order but rough order, for the beginning is what came to my head first, but the middle and end are, perhaps, where the list gets more interesting. I'll see you when I see you.<br />
<br />
<b>raps</b><br />
SOB X RBE - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBsDSpIPURU">Carpoolin'</a><br />
E-40, B-Legit, Stresmatic - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIL2kmFjLzQ">Meet The Dealers</a><br />
DB Tha General & Mistah F.A.B. - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd6OtqZtE_0">Dope Era</a><br />
Husalah - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT6lrbcAckU">Humpin'</a><br />
Pusha T - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7-0ugujS2U">If You Know You Know</a><br />
Nipsey Hussle - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxcrBGUYnxA">Hussle & Motivate</a><br />
YG, 2 Chainz, Big Sean, Nicki Minaj - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z61GFxVD8K4">Big Bank</a><br />
Chippass - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGV7-LHZOVk">Yang Style</a><br />
Nef The Pharoah, 03Greedo, ALLBLACK - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L67M5MbHbhg">Ball Out</a><br />
Lil Wayne & Swizz Beatz - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ2juiyXk-s">Uproar</a><br />
Lil Baby & Drake - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbEHRrq7xwU">Yes Indeed</a><br />
City Girls & Cardi B - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOBZscys8vY">Twerk</a><br />
Earl Sweatshirt - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpM4doRFfkc">Red Water</a><br />
Valee & Jeremih - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuEjB_AO90Y">Womp Womp</a><br />
Tyga & Offset - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjxulQ1bEWg">Taste</a><br />
Iamparis - <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/3X3SQqczS8ndnfnPyJKQLR?si=ly9UbJ9YSLSsGySCmpKH_g">We On</a><br />
Rick Ross & Future - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV_QeJ3qLFk">Green Gucci Suit</a><br />
JPEGMAFIA - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO3mri47s7M">1539 N. Calvert</a><br />
Rich The Kid - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToY6sjSV8h8">Plug Walk</a><br />
Shootergang Kony, Slimmy B, ALLBLACK - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWyp4gWED3s">Warm Up</a><br />
Ralo - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_nvQUsL8ms">Ahk Shit Pop Shit</a><br />
Valee - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6wmc-W1jtI">Juice & Gin</a><br />
Saba - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACaWQdMDyG0">GREY</a><br />
Mozzy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2IMWlwoTTY">Choke On Me</a><br />
OMB Peezy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT-SWv-mJKk">Love You Back</a><br />
600 Breezy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltUNhpM59go">Who Run It</a><br />
SahBabii & 21 Savage - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v15TM8I1vQ4">Outstanding</a><br />
Pusha T - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fIFJg0rAiM">Story of Adidon</a><br />
Gunna & Playboi Carti - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyyhAW2fCbQ">YSL</a><br />
Blvck Spvde, Zado, Bianca Fitzpatrick, Naaji Person - <a href="https://soundcloud.com/vmoney2004/a-toast-to-the-quite-life-feat">A Toast To The Quiet Life</a><br />
Cupcakke - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Da3Yvd0DI">Quiz</a><br />
YoungBoy Never Broke Again - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDQXzY11aS0">Overdose</a><br />
Junglepussy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGNfjWPo4Ts">Trader Joe</a><br />
Camp Lo - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPV0Y0xZTMo">Off The Astro</a><br />
Tay-K - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNa2a4fpKqs">After You</a><br />
Paris (not that one) - <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/2NjdIrcva7xZ5HWQg2FGgU?si=CrJwuzQ6QdmZI0CrM1-Jlw">I Want It</a><br />
Ab-Soul, Anderson Paak, James Blake - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f0VfejVlm8">Bloody Waters</a><br />
HD, Fe Tha Don, DJ Fresh - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wpGZ6qW70c">98 Lexus</a><br />
Kodak Black, Jadakiss, TXS - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p4_GPgYI98">Mama</a><br />
Chief Keef - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEpioTjs1w8">Stars</a><br />
70th Street Carlos - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e3WuDW0Tuk">Sprite</a><br />
ALLBLACK - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFOxEdbp_Jc">P's & Q's</a><br />
Kanye West - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orGu5lQsgNg">Yikes</a><br />
Nickelus F - <a href="https://nickelusf.bandcamp.com/track/king-soulja">King Soulja</a><br />
03 Greedo - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxbNs8G6TFU">For My Dawgs</a><br />
Koran Streets - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAjrhRmo23Y">Fallin & Ballin</a><br />
G Herbo & Southside - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwtPnJHQrUQ">Focused</a><br />
Rico Nasty - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D4happ4TQU">Smack A Bitch</a><br />
Ronny J, XXXtentacion - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IP19CpP3CE">Banded Up</a><br />
Jay Critch & Harry Fraud - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQZ8CbKIbew">Thousand Ways</a><br />
City Girls - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-ggA4V5WTo">I'll Take Your Man</a><br />
WNC Ram Bam - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtclO9D7FMc">G Warfare</a><br />
Tierra Whack - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzmhRERDXro">Cable Guy</a><br />
Adamn Killa & Z-Money - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X7vowunt18">Cluckin'</a><br />
MIKE & Adé Sayyed - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alp3yIZLx9g">Like Mask</a><br />
Peewee Longway - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMVNOdcA2tY">Jumanji</a><br />
BbyMutha, $hoey, Michael Da Vinci - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te1GgUXqISQ">Ungrateful</a><br />
Ripp Flamez - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XZkEtlDbMI">Project Melodies (OML)</a><br />
Iojii - <a href="https://uuum.bandcamp.com/track/hoodah-prod-heaprize">hoo'dah</a><br />
Sada Baby & Drego - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R4Of4G4gew">Bloxk Party</a><br />
Saul Williams - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB8of_z8Qqo">The Flaw You Worship</a><br />
The Jacka, Ampichino, Rydah J. Klyde, Planet Asia - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcFKzUKBRyU">One Way In</a><br />
E-40, G Perico, Vince Staples - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iWJT9iUZKA">Ain't Talkin Bout Nothing</a><br />
Maxo Kream - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnwUbqW62yQ">Work</a><br />
The Popper & Rich The Factor - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hlgqfiyaok">Prospect Ave.</a><br />
Saweetie, Rich The Plug, G-Eazy, London On Da Track - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ipGRw1Ev4">Up Now</a><br />
P-Lo - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SeZHOqSsZA">Same Squad</a><br />
Nas, Future, DJ Esco - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teC0mY-udrg">Walk Thru</a><br />
Lil Peep & XXXTENTACION - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jRKsiAOAA8">Fallin Down</a><br />
Wifisfuneral - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMXWP8V9s08">Alone As A Facetat</a><br />
Sheck Wes - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itImT3vU8KI">Chippi Chippi</a><br />
Bay Swag - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yoh3wuPp0x0">Saucin</a><br />
Z-Money - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMkxg923St8">Bitcoin</a><br />
Juice WRLD - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzB1VGEGcSU">Lucid Dreams</a><br />
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<b>other stuff</b><br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7XDAN_mox4">The Miami Miracle</a><br />
<i>Joe Pera Talks With You</i><br />
LeBron in the semifinals and conference finals<br />
<i>Sorry To Bother You</i><br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k82mJ7U53Qw">Dwyane Wade: Game 2 against Philly</a><br />
<a href="https://www.afterall.org/books/one.work/david-hammons-bliz-aard-ball-sale"><i>David Hammons: Bliz-aard Ball Sale </i>by Elena Filipovic </a>(Late 2017, but I read it in 2018, and we ain't gonna get much more current with tha book shit)<br />
Brett Kavanaugh, under duress, defining excessive drinking as <a href="https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/kavanaugh-ford-sexual-assault-hearing/h_79752abb9dee9a17bf51d537a4a01b68">"whatever the chart says"</a><br />
Project Pat at Churchill's<br />
<i><a href="http://www.artnews.com/2018/03/27/icons-arthur-jafa/">Love Is The Message, The Message is Death </a>@</i> The Hirshhorn<br />
<a href="https://apps.bostonglobe.com/spotlight/gladiator/bristol/">Aaron Hernandez <i>Gladiator</i> series in <i>The Boston Globe</i></a><br />
Tom Brady losing to Nick Foles in the Super Bowl<br />
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<b>old, not rap</b><br />
The Mekons - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec3ChH5uAuQ">32 Weeks</a><br />
Suicide - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXEZPEJRKN8">Misery Train</a><br />
Universal Robot Band - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E4q7LuUoH4">Barely Breaking Even</a><br />
Warehouse - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOMUimiQ9gU">Reservoir</a><br />
Bumblebee Unlimited - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbc-n9huFQs">Lady Bug</a><br />
Orlando Contreras - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jor-ZPVGxkI">Sabor de Engaño</a><br />
Steve Harley & The Cockney Rebel - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9kzQyP4CGs">Cavaliers</a><br />
A Raincoat - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIyxIhpLGQk">It Came in the Night</a><br />
Red Alert - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx9SFIAr9vY">Take No Prisoners</a><br />
Al Green -<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blo_iG8zKas"> Lo And Behold</a><br />
Baccara - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSQjx79dR8s">Yes Sir I Can Boogie</a><br />
Gary Numan - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLfz2bbxxuM">Metal</a><br />
Soft Cell - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EebuXP2YLE8">Frustration</a><br />
Marvin Gaye - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wof5qoR147A">T Plays It Cool</a><br />
Neu! - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfODdusZu-o">Lila Engel</a><br />
Alice in Chains - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83gddxVpitc">Grind</a><br />
The Whatnauts - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euSVtelwD_Q">I'll Erase Away Your Pain</a><br />
The Du-Ettes - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzetCmN5enc">Please Forgive Me</a><br />
Max Roach - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WJ0GqWHhII">Garvey's Ghost</a><br />
Lucho Gatica - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WHThC5AgCQ">El Reloj</a><br />
Rowland S. Howard - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HgjwFtX2Lk">Pop Crimes</a><br />
Barrington Levy - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBALIscK30Q">Please Jah Jah</a><br />
Bobby Womack - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swWJDA8O98o">Secrets</a><br />
Ennio Morricone & Joan Baez - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZXwJcc1u-I">Here's To You</a><br />
Neil Young - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_uHkAngzHw">I Am The Ocean</a><br />
Grateful Dead - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7lMxNfb7rw">Althea</a><br />
Donald Byrd - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJEenumn6X8">Love's So Far Away</a>SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-42011075804401480432018-10-14T03:01:00.000-04:002018-10-14T03:05:43.786-04:00VOLVO IS A GREAT CAR<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rhhlgsAMCUM" width="560"></iframe>
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<i>Ridin' round in my brand new '99 / Fo' do', Volvo!</i><br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUofIhtJfiI"><i></i>Trick Daddy, "Shut Up," <i>Book of Thugs: Chapter AK Verse 47</i></a><br />
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I always liked Trick Daddy, but as I grew to be a man of understated punk elegance, I began to appreciate some of his background idiosyncrasies. At a time when most rappers coveted butterfly-door Lambos or the Viper with the stripes, Trick was all about a Swedish soccer-mom sedan with more safety than the dry thrusts of a BYU dorm room (a/k/a da Provo Soak).<br />
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Through his words, I came to appreciate the boxy Scandinavian design of the sedans and station wagons that rocked the worlds of yuppie parents in the late-90s Eastern seaboard. Class is for men, swag is for boys! So I can't ride with DrakeO the Ruler when he casts aspersions on a fuckin JD Power legend. And it isn't just some nondescript slander. After dissing Volvo as a brand, a staff, and a record label, he sets his sights on Volvo's 1996 line.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7f-AaxG-mnE/W8LmAN3TMPI/AAAAAAAAB84/0r_aq8fh7IYvhGtZ7owXN86WkrgOWpDzgCLcBGAs/s1600/1996_volvo_850_sedan_r_s_oem_1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="315" data-original-width="500" height="201" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7f-AaxG-mnE/W8LmAN3TMPI/AAAAAAAAB84/0r_aq8fh7IYvhGtZ7owXN86WkrgOWpDzgCLcBGAs/s320/1996_volvo_850_sedan_r_s_oem_1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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FUCK</div></b>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IRC9AHrVpkw/W8LmVOEAhMI/AAAAAAAAB9A/L9mlMy7vsRQwDkY3dLPbwwI5XpWYiWI6ACLcBGAs/s1600/4-25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="343" data-original-width="570" height="192" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IRC9AHrVpkw/W8LmVOEAhMI/AAAAAAAAB9A/L9mlMy7vsRQwDkY3dLPbwwI5XpWYiWI6ACLcBGAs/s320/4-25.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><div style="text-align: center;">
YOU</div></b>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SS4pGtja9c8/W8LmcLG13WI/AAAAAAAAB9E/M0SDiMblwZ0BQpvdKRaYWD8qkP_mWG8BACLcBGAs/s1600/volvo-850-1996-volvo-850-turbo-sedan-yellow_5986690467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="450" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SS4pGtja9c8/W8LmcLG13WI/AAAAAAAAB9E/M0SDiMblwZ0BQpvdKRaYWD8qkP_mWG8BACLcBGAs/s320/volvo-850-1996-volvo-850-turbo-sedan-yellow_5986690467.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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DRAKEO</div></b></b>
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Listen, bud, I never listened to your ass 'cause your name is literally some nickel-and-dime copyright dip. Back in 2003, my mans used to write a comic called <i>DougH</i>. It was the <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_6Kp7q5tbA">Bart The General</a> </i>of graphite-driven <i>Doug </i>comics. You are the <i>DougH </i> of rap. Drinking Sprite and Simply Orange on your album cover, what kind of message does that send to the kids? That it's cool to ingest too much sugar? FOH, beet juice is the real drink of champs.</div>
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DrakeO, I'm hoping you get free, but I'm warning you - when they hand you that bus pass and you're waitin for your ride, I'ma be training to fight you for what you said about the Volvo. And don't get it twisted. I might not look like a real humdinger, but like the Volvo I so love, I can take a damn beating.</div>
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DrakeO, you dress like Deadpool, and I will fight you. RAP MUSCHSE HYSTERIA OUT!</div>
SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-90736341775182277822018-09-26T03:13:00.002-04:002018-09-27T01:26:53.386-04:00WHEN I B ON THA RAPID REALTY LISTINGS<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/M34OelgSlKI" width="560"></iframe>
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Not to beat a dead horse, but to beat a dead horse, New York City is beat, not unlike a horse that is not living, a horse without pulse, a horse in cell decay - a dead horse. Blame Giuliani, blame David Schwimmer, blame third-way neoliberalism, but the shit is just fucked these days. Walk up Nostrand between Fulton and Flushing and you'll be traversing Maino territory, but it's more like walking down the yarn aisle at Michaels. You'll see as many clogs as Tims. It is what it is.<br />
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I been following the <a href="http://rapmusichysteria.blogspot.com/2013/06/purple-shirted-yuppie-in-aaps-peso.html">degradation of the bodega for a while.</a> I'm sorta like a scholar.<br />
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"But mine is doing well!" you say. "They just remodeled and got some flatscreen TVs!"<br />
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Pish posh, MF. That shit'll be sold when the property value hits eight figures. Ask mom and pop about the East Village the next time you're at brunch.</div>
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But I digress. High on bath salts one poetic night, I passed the RAKIM _ 1997 _SOLO argument through the YouTube search function and viewed the "When I B On Tha Mic" video. Those '90s Rakim solo albums are a tombstone for something, but that's another post. In this video, Rakim and friends are gesticulating and lip-syncing in front of Nostrand Mini Market. I can't verify this, because the Google StreetView for 110 Nostrand Ave. shows a property bordering a parking garage, whereas the bodega in the video appears to be on a street corner, but <a href="https://www.yelp.com/biz/nostrand-mini-market-brooklyn">the Yelp for Nostrand Mini Market</a> sports this as its emblematic image: </div>
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Is it a victory? Giuliani sacrificed children so bike messenger types could ride through Bed Stuy with impunity. But if I was head honcho? This fuck would be wearing a fitted MLB cap, jeans the size of air ducts, and a mustard pair of Tims. The bag would not exist, the coat would be Carhartt or North Face, and he would be putting up a Long Island crew in the most deserted back alley.</div>
SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-1182165846385986622018-08-15T04:20:00.000-04:002018-08-15T04:44:21.600-04:00ON MEMPHIS RAP AND THE SONG OF THE SUMMER<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/iGX-2i7vddY" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
For a complex of obvious reasons, Memphis rap fetishism has long been the province of art degenerates, edgelord punx, and non-racist metalheads, which is why I've always been gun shy about stanning for the venerable likes of DJ Squeeky and M.C. Mack.<br />
<br />
What's that you say about the penultimate post? Allow me to remove my clip-on mohawk. Meant nothing, bought it from a costume store. I'll just put on the vintage FUBU jersey I usually wear. Yes, some say it's cyan, others say it's sky blue. You never know until you study color theory!<br />
<br />
Post Lamone, you say? Never heard of her. No, mine isn't vintage in that sense, I've been wearing it since '97, it's vintage in the sense of age not provenance.<br />
<br />
This FUBU jersey is so comfortable. When I put it on I feel at ease with the world, unlike the semiotically confused palefaces who stand behind their merch tables proffering harsh noise cassettes and Tommy Wright III shirts. Is it any wonder <a href="https://twitter.com/VampireMoneyyyy/status/1019321712096239616">SpaceGhostPurrp can't stand the Yacubian devil?</a> His old MuneyJordan YouTube channel, with its carefully curated underground Memphis playlists, gave birth to the Lil Ugly Manes and Sucide Men of the world. Memphis makes, the world takes and remakes.<br />
<br />
Which is why I was surprised to hear Pretty Tony & 38 Slug's "Summer Drama" step away from the gothic and headbussa cliches of so much Memphian random-rap, giving us a summer song encompassing the minor glories and bullshit of a dog day's scene, underscored by the warm piano chords that made the "Player's Ball" reprise/remix so ineffably poignant (no homo).<br />
<br />
Perhaps Schopenhauer said it best when he wrote, "The inexpressible depth of all music, by virtue of which it floats past us as a paradise quite familiar and yet eternally remote, and is so easy to understand and yet so inexplicable, is due to the fact that it reproduces all the emotions of our innermost being, but entirely without reality and remote from its pain. And that Pretty Tony & 38 Slug shit? It makes a Krautta like me feel a certain kinda way.<br />
<br />
"You know how Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J are always going on about the 'wicked shit' to describe Esham and whomever? I get it, local pride and all, but it's better applied to the Memphis underground, and 'Summer Drama' somehow weds the wicked shit with cookout music. It's apropos when you consider the whole of summer: you're out grilling schnitzel with your Krauttas as the murder rate rises."<br />
<br />
I couldn't have said it better, Art.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-57208051481922529512018-07-31T02:30:00.000-04:002018-07-31T02:44:20.030-04:00SPACEX AGE PIMPIN<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/L67M5MbHbhg" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
Ya man was mainly listening to the sounds of orca whales and gradual mental collapse in my blog sabbatical. You ever heard dopamine die? It sounds like Hopsin and Kweli made a mixtape.<br />
<br />
So I missed the moment when the rap internet blew its collective nonbinary load for 03 Greedo. He's cool, but my load remains unspent. He's a Los Angeles rapper who does street rap that doesn't sound like LA street rap, and sometimes he sounds like Young Thug. Right? Hit me up if you got the answers, cause like Kindler, <i>I guess I didn't get the mem-o</i>.<br />
<br />
Unfashionably, I've been listening to a fair amount of ALLBLACK, a pimp-rapper seemingly tailor made for the tastes of basement-dwelling blog boiz, who also seem to be the only people talking about ALLBLACK. Is pimp-rap dead? I suspect it can't go anywhere after Suga Free. ALLBLACK certainly won't reinvent it, but he adds a bohemian nose ring and ditches the high camp that often tempers the more unseemly aspects of pimp bardage. It's revisionist pimp-rap, stripping away the pageantry from the cold business of selling pussy. Will PC Culture take my precious pimp-rap? Time will tell, but know one thing: I'll dye (my hair blonde) for my entertainment (anonymously).<br />
<br />
ALLBLACK is a bad rapper in, I think, a compelling way. He always lags slightly behind the beat, not unlike the fiendish shadow people who stalk my every move yet disappear like cowards when I turn to confront them (pour one out for Art Bell). On "Ball Out" he's joined by Greedo and '15 Martorialist Freshman Nef the Pharoah. Greedo ditches the vocal filters and delivers what's formally the strongest verse I've heard from him. Is my thinking swayed by the fact that he compares a vaginal scent to stroganoff? Yes, but he gallivants in a very lavish and outlandish manner, channeling Ezale at times.<br />
<br />
Nef bats second in his Cheshire Cat style, which, though effective in bursts, hasn't been strong enough to sustain anything beyond a yearly single or two. The celestial counterpunch to Greedo's earthbound food metaphors is effective. ALLBLACK only handles the chorus, meaning we don't get to enjoy his good-bad rap stylings, which is good for some and bad for others. All in all, a magnificent song that helps to blot out the evil punk rumblings in my head for two minutes, eight seconds.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-87871454947540354912018-07-15T00:20:00.000-04:002018-07-15T00:25:17.549-04:00BAY SLANG WATCH<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ooSyZp2u_s4" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
What have I been doing with my year? Riding hither and yon like a dandelion seed borne on the indifferent winds of existence?<br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
I've been being punk. It's one of my favorite hobbies, this being punk. So imagine the shock to my glue encrusted Manic Panic when I heard ShooterGang Kony casting aspersions on a "punk rock thooter."<br />
<br />
Could it be a callback to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPd1HFvqiKk">"Fruity Pebble Punk Rock,"</a> or is Kony making sweet crusty love in between vegan bake sales at 924 Gilman?<br />
<br />
I don't care. I'm punk, and I will continue practicing my punk no matter what you say. Kony works in the boilerplate nü-Bay style so quickly becoming indistinguishable from its Detroit counterpart, perhaps realizing the world-flattening that hysteric early-'00s rap millenarians saw in the internet's rise, but, like, who really fucking cares? It makes me feel big and powerful when I'm driving in my fast car.<br />
<br />
We're just dust in the wind. ShooterGang Kony's music will be forgotten when the big .exe in the sky decides to pull the plug, and you and I are cobbling together shacks with melted-down Vertical Horizon CDs. But by all means, enjoy it while it lasts.<span class="st"><i></i></span>SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-51098942799460220612018-05-22T04:02:00.000-04:002018-05-22T04:13:03.229-04:00BEST OF 2017...WE ONLY SIX MONTHS LATE, BRUH!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L_BGkREM4u0/WwPN87thklI/AAAAAAAAB8E/zsT4CK66Etc09rg4KSPnCBFjxm3ssPMggCLcBGAs/s1600/feederz_jesus_insert_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="783" data-original-width="606" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-L_BGkREM4u0/WwPN87thklI/AAAAAAAAB8E/zsT4CK66Etc09rg4KSPnCBFjxm3ssPMggCLcBGAs/s400/feederz_jesus_insert_b.jpg" width="309" /></a></div>
<br />
In this particular instance, what may initially appear as a blogger's complete ineptitude and inability to follow deadlines, actually reveals itself as an ingenious use of Brecht's distancing effect. By submitting a 2017 wrap-up almost six months into the next year, the <i>Rap Music Hysteria </i>impresario shocks the reader out of his/her pathetic bourgeois sham of a life and confronts them with the arbitrary measure of the calendar year as an ordering device; the breakneck pace of internet consumption, wherein the year's previous best are barely regarded in the next; and, ultimately, his deeply moral list reminds us of death.<br />
<br />
LMFAO jk gang, I was too lazy to cobble one of these together last year, but why the fuck not drop this on y'all heads and let it stand for posterity. I imagine there will be a lot of omissions because I care as much about this list as you do. Leggo!<br />
<br />
Mozzy - The People Plan<br />
21 Savage - Close My Eyes<br />
Gunplay & Mozzy - Never Had Shit<br />
OMB Peezy - Lay Down<br />
Willie The Kid - You Know About Me<br />
Rich Homie Quan - Gamble<br />
Westside Gunn - Brains Flew By (1964 Version)<br />
CyHi The Prince - Nu Africa<br />
Playboi Carti - Magnolia<br />
Shy Glizzy - Congratulations<br />
Z-Ro - Houston 2Gether<br />
Valee - Shell<br />
Lil B - Bad MF<br />
Lor Choc - Fast Life<br />
Kur - Uptop! Uptop!<br />
Lil Yee - The Illest<br />
YoungBoy Never Broke Again - No Smoke<br />
G Perico - Bacc Forth<br />
Lil Peep - Beamer Boy<br />
Tay-K - The Race<br />
Ballgreezy & Lil Dred - Nice & Slow<br />
Lud Foe - Recuperate<br />
Quelle Chris - Buddies<br />
Chief Keef - Whoa<br />
Kodak Black & Jeezy - Feel Like<br />
MeloDroppin30 & Lil Chicken - No Grease<br />
Young Dro - The Real A<br />
Lil Durk & Lil Reese - Distance<br />
G Herbo - Street<br />
Lil Wop - Backwoods<br />
XXXTENTACION - Everybody Dies In Their Nightmares<br />
Yo Gotti & Nicki Minaj - Rake It Up<br />
Young Dolph - Play Wit Yo Bitch<br />
Count Bass D & Snoop Dogg - Too Much Pressure<br />
Creek Boyz - With My Team<br />
SahBabii & Loso Loaded - Pull Up Wit Ah Stick<br />
Kendrick Lamar - DUCKWORTH.<br />
Spodee - From Tha Bottom<br />
SOBxRBE - Game On<br />
Milo & Elucid - Landscaping<br />
Young Thug, Carnage, Meek Mill - Homie<br />
Dru Down - My 501's<br />
Future - Zoom<br />
Keak Da Sneak - Thunderdome <br />
Prodigy- Mafuckin U$A<br />
Vic Spencer - Legitimate Ignorance<br />
Troy Ave - Never Switch<br />
J Stalin & DJ Fresh - Play With Lil J<br />
Princess Nokia - Mine<br />
Cam'Ron - 10,000 Miles<br />
Koran Streets - Comfortable<br />
MikeWillMadeIt, Chief Keef, Rae Sremmurd - Come Down<br />
Trick Daddy, Trina, Mike Smiff - Paradise<br />
Migos - T-Shirt<br />
Ralo - Calm Down Ralo<br />
<br />
Special Mention for "Bodak Yellow." Never really enjoyed it at any point, but I understood why people did. Felt like an asexual monitoring an orgy.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-45485025646588046262018-05-19T02:34:00.000-04:002018-05-19T02:34:01.245-04:00WHEN YA TROLLIN BACKFIRE<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/g6mB4EvDHYE" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
Wassup y'all, can't say much about my long sabbatical from the rap 'nets, but let's just say I was taking a lot of hallucinogenic colonics and practicing my alphabetical genital glides. Can't be more pacific than that, so let's just move on to the rap and forget I ever wrote that sentence.<br />
<br />
Aight, I took an internship with a certain M--o Y., who recently set up shop in Miami. The boy put me on to books by Thomas Sowell, and I started questioning the whole ethics of this rap thing. I wore Dockers and topsiders, ranted about thug culture unbidden, jerked off into piles of FBI crime statistics. But I was walking down the street when I heard this fuckin sphincter-rattlin' sound.<br />
<br />
"Who that?" I asked the young mocha-colored hombre. His skin was like coffee and chocolate and cinnamon and burnt umber. Felt like painting the mothafucka in a loincloth, ya feel me? Had that Gauguin boner 4 real (no homo).<br />
<br />
"Boy, stop. You know that's Lil Xan."<br />
<br />
Suddenly I loved rap again! Went back and checked up on my old pal DB Tha General. He got a new project out, something about being the king of Oakland and the crown weighing heavy. I can't swap out this window, chief, I gotta let the words flow. It's pretty good if you like DB - who, lez be real, created both the Mozzy and SOBxRBE lanes now dominating the Bay (I mean, I think - I been dabbling in erotic facepainting for the past half a year) - but there's one song called "You A Fag." The chorus goes, "Bitch, you a fag!" I thought that was pretty funny, so I sent it to my potna.<br />
<br />
"Lol check this out man shit's deep."<br />
<br />
Only my Google search ended up linking me <a href="https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-ab&ei=ycL_WoyUBKWE5wLxvp6oCA&q=db+tha+general+you+a+fag&oq=db+tha+general+you+a+fag&gs_l=psy-ab.3...7342.9396.0.9546.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.mKUXv2lkBIY">to a completely different song!</a> Lol, trolled. The song ended up being great and I looked stupid. Turns out <a href="https://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/12042-real-pain-ft-husalah/">David Drake even wrote about it back in the day</a>, comparing Husalah's raps to Ghost and Rae. Yeah, I hear that Double D! Husalah kills DB on his own shit, but who really won the war? I'd rather listen to current DB than 2018 Husalah on his best day. That being said, I've spent the past few moons lab-testing priapic Listerine strips, so what's my opinion worth?<br />
<br />
I'm gettin old, y'all. I don't wanna hear about the drugs you took or the chicks you dicked. I wanna hear about your pain, bruh. I wanna hear about your struggle. There is no hope, there's only us!SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-14165176619407767872017-10-27T13:44:00.002-04:002017-10-27T13:49:39.159-04:00BEST RAP WRITING OF 2014: THE BLATLANTA PAPERS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pRtOwh8jkoA/WfNsCp7so8I/AAAAAAAAB60/VzcoKo56KQ0IhP6dRw0j_X7uviIds3rZwCLcBGAs/s1600/wa255i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="612" height="318" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pRtOwh8jkoA/WfNsCp7so8I/AAAAAAAAB60/VzcoKo56KQ0IhP6dRw0j_X7uviIds3rZwCLcBGAs/s320/wa255i.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Middle school era Thugger and DC Young Fly</i></div>
<br />
Follow me as I turn this blog into a gossip rag. Yung Barvey Kingpin giving you the raw and real messageboard rumors. Cause if I don't muckrake, who will?<br />
<br />
Members of the Coli fraternal order are claiming that <a href="http://www.thecoli.com/threads/atl-please-verify-ralos-claims-shot-20-30-ppl-arrested-44-times-millionaire-by-19.484116/page-4">the now dormant account Blatlanta is Ralo</a> or <a href="http://www.thecoli.com/threads/atl-please-verify-ralos-claims-shot-20-30-ppl-arrested-44-times-millionaire-by-19.484116/page-5#post-21884380">"somebody close to him within that FAMERICA camp."</a> I won't attribute words to a source without legitimate proof, but whoever it was submits a dossier of intriguing insider info; in particular, the 2014 thread "Young Thug nikka is a straight up batty bwoy," in which he questions the notion that Young Thug's gender subversion is anything more than a cynical cash grab.<br />
<br />
Even if true, does contrivance change anything in a world where presentation is reality? Lou and Bowie may or may not have rode dick for counterculture points, but they were still getting gay in public at a time when that was taboo. <a href="http://www.thecoli.com/posts/11097760/">Put a read on this:</a><br />
<br />
<i>Dude trollin hard as fukk and he's always been a nikka who did shyt just
for attention since High School he's just gettin more extreme with it
nowadays cause he's doing it on a larger scale. nikkas voted him best
dressed in high school as a joke...I went to high school with him for a
few years before he transferred after getting jumped and beat with a
bat(hence those facial scars and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJpc6FVoUHE">why his teeth used to be fukked up</a>) in
like 9th or the beginning of 10th grade. Everybody used to call him "Lil
Jeff"..</i>
<i></i><br />
<i><br />
He one of them ugly ass funny nikkas that always did crazy or odd shyt
to get attention from hoes. He started QB in high school and was a
basketball star, his dad is a local legend for athletics and coaches
bball at the high school. He aint really start going crazy til he
started taking rap real serious, dude had a scholarship to college for
athletics and fukked it all up.</i>
<i></i><br />
<i><br />
He a real hood nikka tho, not a drug dealer but more of a user that
would rob dealers or set em up and such. He got hella p*ssy on the block
too and his name whole weight on the southside and westside of ATL
heavy, nikka got like 6 kids around the city and tons of baby mamas and
he only 23.</i>
<i><br /> </i><br />
<i>Dude tied up in so much bullshyt between signing 360 contracts and owed
street debts that he not really eating off his career. Birdman taking
15% of everything himself and I know the 300 ENT 360 deal he signed
prolly taking at least another 15-30%....</i>
<i></i><br />
<i><br />
He been rapping since like 2010 and wasnt really seeing any success from
it outside of the hood of ATL so this gay shyt just a way for him to
get attention on a larger scale, I know him and his manager, and his
sisters and all the nikkas he used to be on the block with and its
obviously a gimmick. His manager told me they were looking for a way to
garner attention for him to take to the next level last september right
after he invested 10K to fix his teeth.</i>
<i><br />
The nikkas from his block say he "gay for pay" now lol....</i>
<i></i><br />
<i><br />
Once he got his teeth fixed thats when the gimmicks started just watch
the vids below he used to be crazy and outgoing, now the nikka wanna act
shy and barely talk at all in an interview, Rich homie gotta talk for
him lol. Dude been drugged up, it's just that he softened himself up to
get mainstream attention...a suspect "gay" rapper named Young Thug is
perfect for 2014.</i><br />
<br />
That last sentence <i>>>>> </i>every Young Thug thinkpiece. <a href="http://www.thecoli.com/posts/11102945/">Blatlanta then claims,</a> "Peewee Longway's whole career is based off being Thug's lean, weed and
molly man. Like Thug had been copping from him for years and then once
Peewee started rapping Thug basically put him on in exchange for drugs
to use lol..."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xoMPfuVFC88/WfNtswCpXOI/AAAAAAAAB7E/GMxYugXw2B0Mmnsu0JRLrdYPAOGCiqcrwCLcBGAs/s1600/Quincy-Lamont-Williams_mugshot.400x800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="487" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xoMPfuVFC88/WfNtswCpXOI/AAAAAAAAB7E/GMxYugXw2B0Mmnsu0JRLrdYPAOGCiqcrwCLcBGAs/s320/Quincy-Lamont-Williams_mugshot.400x800.jpg" width="262" /></a></div>
<br />
What's the basis for the belief that this is Ralo? A signature now gone, a still from an early Ralo video as an avatar, the insider info and photos - in a word, only circumstantial evidence. In any event, his assertions give new insight into Thugger's media savvy. Whether it was a contrived stunt or a heartfelt rejection of binary gender roles, his antics kept homophobes and -philes talking. Andre 3000 might have done it first, but that was long before the thinkpiece bubble descended on us. Thugger knew what critics and open-minded fans wanted to see. The rest is thinkpiece history.SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433366943695111850.post-62594543071729346632017-09-20T20:13:00.002-04:002017-09-20T20:27:58.307-04:00BALLGREEZY FAN PAGE<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yIIR_NqVVFI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
Who let these new kids in? I see them with their Thrasher shirts, prescription pills, and prostate-stimulating repetition. What happened to the days when Trick Daddy and Gunplay tried minting Florida rap with a lyricist's imprimatur? SoundCloud rap is just dexontextualized postmodern appropriation, which proves we've reached the end of culture. Right? Yes. No.<br />
<br />
Cry if you want, or blame someone. Not Rick Ross - he exists in a geohistorical void of his own making. It's Spaceghostpurrp. Not just the father of all these reprobates, he is their direct link to the old school <a href="http://www.browardpalmbeach.com/music/spaceghostpurrp-and-gunplay-will-stamp-carol-city-on-the-hip-hop-map-or-die-tryin-6352058">("I'd bring Markese with me to the studio," Morrison says. "He'd just sit and watch Disco Rick work the engineering board. It definitely got Markese's attention.")</a>. Now we have a traceable lineage, now we have cause and effect, and we can sleep easily at night knowing that the problematic rock bricolage of a Xxxxtentacion isn't that far away from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJimAQVl840">"Fuck Around The Clock"</a> or <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiNQH4WAV-M">"Do Wah Diddy",</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oYgHHuMc3o">Little Pump and Smoke PUrple</a> circle around the same blown-out absurdist drain as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJZ4FkY4Zyw">"Let's Get Muthafuckin' Stupified"</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM4MNN4nx7Q">"Smurf Rock."</a><br />
<br />
Raider Klan inaugurated a distinct break from the half-thizzy club anthems of yesteryear (despite Denzel Curry honoring <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz4Zv2gOY8k">Bizzle</a> on <a href="https://soundcloud.com/denzelcurryph/denzel-curry-envy-me-prod-by-ronny-j">"Envy Me"</a>). Whether this was a deliberate aesthetic choice, or an effect of generation gaps, urban sprawl, personal enmities, or insider/outsider industry politics, it marks a splintering - a rupture. Existing parallel to Raider Klan and their children, traditionalists like Ice Berg, Lil Dred, and Mike Smiff continue producing content steeped in familiar conventions. Like Kodak Black, who combines new-gen meme literacy with older rap styles, Ballgreezy stands between movements but remains outside them, continuing in a post-jook mode while softening its Dionysian edges with grown-man world-weariness. At times he resembles one of the mournful songmen of today; this might be the case, and yet Greezy was crooning before Wayne and Kanye broke down the R&B doors and liberated moping for the kids of today.<br />
<br />
Who will unite the Florida factions? Who will be the self-conscious Jay-Z or RZA attempting to bridge the gap of false binaries, long after anyone cares? I see a fat man in the distance. Who is he? He smells of wings. It's Rick Ross, the man without a country. He holds the key - interlocking Wingstop gift cards. They represent money, fame, industry clout, and $50 worth of Wingstop product at any Wingstop location. As of this writing, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8kuueLXKWI">he is</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR1fja-8nZs">the key</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bjfU-GkJBc">who unites</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRsIUso5LyI">the various schools.</a>SEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10151622578044869025noreply@blogger.com3