LOL, WE BACK ALREADY? RICK ROSS ON THAT "BOUND 2" FREESTYLE

Lol, but this shit is funny, ain't it?  I was just chirpin bout MMG runnin the rap game in the mold of '90s BAD BOY, and ol fat-ass releases a HYPE WILLIAMS directed video.  Although it ain't necessarily up to par with classic era HYPE, it still stimulates the viewer in the same way that originally got his videos noticed, posing such brain-breaking questions as, "How can a ferris wheel possibly support the rolling fats of a RICK ROSS?"  I think it's either a studio set or some green screen wizardry.  I bin on ferris wheels, and them shits is rickety.

Because ROSS' verses ain't disrupting digestive system function or nothin, they are technically forgetable, but after "Devil in a Red Dress" it just sound right for him to rock over a YEEZY beat.  All hail the fat one.

OFF-BRAND MIGOS SURPASSES THE ORIGINAL? MEANWHILE, MMG COASTS AS THE FAIREST LABEL IN ALL THE LAND

Dearest Reader,

Recently I vamoosed outta Jax Hole for a weekend 'cause shit was gettin hot on the slopes.  I was boinkin some married ski bunnies, and let's just say their husbands weren't feelin my particular brand of sexual libertinism.  So I shunted down to the teeming metropolis of Cheyenne (Chey-Town, stand up!), where I indulged in certain urban amenities unavailable in even the grimiest corners of my beloved hometown.

I wents down to the Cheyenne ghetto and let myself bathe in the chaos and grit.  Methlabs exploding on every corner.  Skechers shoes.  Hooters girl's socks.  Terrifying stuff.  But like a year spent backpacking across Europe on yo parents' dime, it gave me some much-needed perspective.  I'll spare u the intimate details of my self-realization, but as I stood on tha block watchin flames engulf a trailer-home methlab, I heard TRACY T's "16" blarin from the tinny speakers of an Android phone.

I was like, "Yo, Cletus, this shit is bonkers.  MIGOS gwan run 2014 even more obnoxiously than they ran 2013."  To which Cletus, nodding mournfully, responded, "My friend, this is not MIGOS you hear.  'Tis a young scribe by the name of TRACY T.  Recently signed to the venerable MAYBACH MUSIC GROUP."

Sheeeeeiiittt.  You could've fooled me wit dat mouthbreather syncopation, the wack-a-mole repetition -- the conspicuous use of the word "migo."  Gotta say, though, this shit had be bouncin in my Rossignols.  Could it be that the facsimile was just as good - if not better - than the original?  Reminded me of 1989, the year punk broke, when TAD made the unlikely jump into the rooms of teenage girls and middle-America malls.  Soon there were imitators like CANDLEBOX, NIRVANA, BUSH, and CREED, many of whom were arguably better than the originators.  Will this be the case with the MIGOS sound?

Time will only tell.  In the meantime, it must be noted: despite the vocal disapproval, the borderline derision of the Rap Music blogtelligentsia, MMG has quickly amassed the biggest dynasty RAP MUSIC has seen since early '00s ROC-A-FELLA or mid-'00s DIPSET.  G.O.O.D. MUSIC?  Don't make me laugh, child, they some middle-management second fiddles.  Hate it or love it, MMG is on top!