UPPER MIDDLE-CLASS GANG!

Johnny Cinco and Hoodrich Pablo Juan's 2015 collaboration, Poppi Seed Connect, came at a time when it seemed like Atlanta was generating a lot of sound and fury and not much else. Not unlike the first time I heard Future, it sounded like something Marty McFly or Pluto Nash had accidentally brought back from their respective travels through time and space. It's music for replicants smacked up on lean and xannys, gone off that melting-into-a-couch high.

Pablo Juan followed it up with 1'5, an a'ight mixtape bogged down with the usual tiresome antics of the weed carrier platoon. On the cover of Cinco 2, our man Johnny appears in art deco style, a vector of pure energy and zootedness. Fitting representation for a man described by eminent minds as "lean personified."  Cinco 2 hits a lot of RAP MUSIC HYSTERIA! sweet spots, including a No Limit homage and a reference to eating shrimp and lobster, so you know Mr. Cinco has his values in the right place. Initially I thought "The 1st" was the highlight of the tape, but really it's just "Knew That" redux. Nah, ya boy is growing more emotional as old age and senility creep up on me, so I gotta give it to the YFN Lucci duet "Gotta Stop," a heartfelt song about cutting all the dumb kid shit out ya life and focusing on your goals. Between this, the equally great "Talk," and last year's Weight Of The World, Johnny and Lucci are making a strong case as the bargain-brand Rich Gang. Call 'em the U.S. Polo Assn. to Thug & Quan's Lo.

YOU'RE A CREDIT TO YOUR BLOGGING PLATFORM!

That's definitely me in the corner. But could that really be me in the spotlight, losing my capacity to enjoy new rap music? After spending a good portion of my day listening to things I hadn't heard, I still could not find a song better than this one. Thanks to ANU for reblogging Murk, without whom I would have continued ignoring Johnny Cinco and Hoodrich Pablo Juan based on their nondescript-ass rap names. Present company excluded, Atlanta has been hiding a pretty shite year behind the extended victory laps of Future and Young Thug. Here are the songs I listened to that weren't as good as this one, accompanied by takes so hot u gwan need ya oven mitts.

Blac Youngsta - Heavy
Ernest Homie Quan Goes To The Memphis Trap

Colonel Loud ft. Ricco Barrino & Young Dolph - California
Admittedly, I would rather hear this lite funkiness on the radio than another anemic Drizzy grouse-fest.

T.I. ft. Young Thug - Peanut Butter Jelly
Was hoping for a Buckwheat Boyz tribute, but this was still OK. Regardless of quality, every new T.I. song is a bitter reminder that we can never return to the scowling ectomorph with the thick drawl and Adebisi headgear.

Tate Kobang - Bank Rolls
Cool song compromised irretrievably once I heard the original.

2Milly - Milly Rock
Shmoney Dance Redux, with half the fun.

Topdolla Sweizy - I Got Ice
DC rap is a decades long identity crisis.

Lil George - Sauce
Were the creative heights of 808 Mafia worth the years of garbage that followed?

Yung Stakks - Stakk Money
This one is kind of catchy and there are tits in the video.

DJ Drizzle Ft. Young Butta & Lil Spigg - Money Dance
Well...they look like they're having fun. Video features rare and secrete footage of Cincinnati brick buildings.

Scarface ft. Rush - Steer
Face can do whatever the fuck he wants at this point, but this particular roll of the dice is indefensible. Old rappers sweat EDM like 50 year-olds in PR departments sweat social media.

Pooh Hefner ft. Pretty Boy & Iamsu! - Riden Through The Rich
Unremarkable but enjoyable slap.