HATE IT OR LOVE IT, SPANISH GUITARS IS ON TOP

A man of wisdom once said, "There's only two things certain in this trife life: death and Spanish guitars." When civilization finally annihilates itself, bet there's gonna be some cockroaches carrying on the legacy, one in a sombrero wit his legs splayed out and an acoustic guitar restin on his groinals, the other on the M-I-C talkinbout, "Cockroaches is the hardest species outchea, survivin 'n' thrivin while all these soft-serve mammals got punked by the ultimate wedgie puller."

MAX B - 50'S OF SOUR
This ain't Biggavel's only foray into the exotic delights of sultry strums. There were Max B's before Max B, bawdy Orphic bards spittin da raw and real. Some mistook it for transcendence, but it was actually a finer state of mind known as waviness. Charly Wingate was just the ultimate expression, the final evolution in a process that began with the inception of language. Now Buddens free!

FREEWAY - RING THE ALARM (FT. PEEDI CRAKK & OMILLIO SPARKS)
Finally it ain't a gringo blessin las guitarras. Here's Peedi & co. flippin da Tenor Saw classic boricua style. Maybe da rap bloggers of cockroach Earth will finally give Peedi his due when they typin on they lil cockroach computers wit headphones on the antennae. Big up to Freeway for being an early adapter on that hipster crossover money dat Big Boi now chasing on that album I ain't able to manage caring about.

YUKMOUTH - SAD MILLIONAIRE (FT. PHATS BOSSI & BIG LURCH)
If you wanna make your shit paranoid and world weary, holla at a mariachi band to lace your shit with some Spanish guitars. But if you really wanna put some guac on that chip, do like Yuk and tap a cannibal dusthead for tha hook.

HOT BOYS - NEIGHBORHOOD SUPERSTAR
I always thought Spanish guitars was a New York thing on account of the Puerto Rican influence, but it's really the Bay that had this game on lock. Sixth man of the year tho? That's the great Mannie Fresh!

KANYE WEST - ALL FALLS DOWN
Real talk, Kanye couldn't dress for shit when he came out. Ratty-ass baggy blazers, Aeropostale button-ups, Rocawear jeans-as-sweatpants, and some white Reebok Classics? Mu'fucka was about to rock a straw fedora. Crazy how Ye went from tha I'm so normal and middle class! Look at me, I'm rapping about this college girl's problems! dude when Rhymefest was his ghostwriter, to the grrr i'm so weird and i wear leather pants i like triangles and weird symbols shitty art project he became when Travis Scott turned him into the angular haircut of rap.

GENIUS OF LOVE

Downtown in the '80s was crazy man, you had Lee Quinones aerosol-arting Debbie Harry's face on LES bodegas before Chico (a/k/a the $erge of NYC) came in with the strongarm tactics and the deft Norman Rockwell hand.  Shit, you had Fab 5 Freddy paying people to paint soupcans on the iron horse and generally perfecting the sheister activities that made a Suge Knight possible ('cept Freddy was and remains a Classic Man; dig that porkpie, playa).

Boom.  No song embodies that magical era better than "Genius of Love" by Tom Tom Club.  Uptown was meeting Downtown, the boomers was takin us to the promise land, hands interlockin on some United Way logo shit.  They was like the Rascals of the '80s with badass punk chick attitude!

Thank you boomers!  All they had was some pluck, a coldwater loft where they literally had to fight rats for the privilege of shitting off the fire escape, a couple of paintbrushes and some stank doobage, but yo they died 4 our sins.  Giuliani single-handedly buzzkilled the racialized harmony posited in "Genius of Love," but it did become one of the most enduring breaks of rap music.  It's like the "Sleng Teng" riddim in tha sense tht you could literally be goin "skiddely diddely bibbedy bop" on some Scatman shit, and still rock a party.  Y'all can look up its history, it ain't hard to find.  Fuck a service, when I die I want all my peoples getting twisted and listening to a mega-long playlist of "Genius Of Love" derivatives.  Max's version might not be the best, but it is certainly the waviest.  PEace, follow me on Twitter hoez,

2 TIMES FOR UR SOUL: THE CANONIZATION OF MAX B, THE NORMCORE OF NEW JACK SWING

1.
MAX B got shine while he was still a freeman, but no one woulda predicted how large his presence would loom over a generation of rappers who continue boogie boardin all over his "thugged-out singin JODECI in the shower" wave.  I'm workin on a diorama for my 7th grade civics class right now and I'm using MAX'S canonization as an example of democracy doin its thang.  The people spoke on this one, don't wanna see no eggheads tryin to take credit for the popular voice reaching critical mass!  Before he was upstate punchin out license plates and stackin reblogs from '90s baby Tumblr users, MAX was considered a quality practitioner of post-DIPSET aesthetics, but it was more like, "Man I miss DIPSET, MAX B still out there and he's pretty 'wavy' i guess (lol), but man NYC is so dead haha #papoosejoke #wavynotasgoodasbaaalllin"  Worse than the ex post facto shinejobs is the lamebrain NYC stans who didn't even notice a moment was happening when it was right under they nose.  BIG STAR of rap melodics 4 real.

2.
Reason #5039 that normcore is RACIST: it don't even include the #Urban aesthetics laid out by TEDDY RILEY & co!  Hillary Clinton might be the next US Prez, and she still rockin pantsuits made from material repossessed by the government in the great COLOR ME BADD Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings of '94.  Whateva happened to intellectual property, B??  Me and Lars Ulrich been talkin about this issue whenever I go over to his place for some nude swimming in his Endless Pool.  Lars had a good point:  if NORMCORE is about NORMALCY but only includes WHITE PPL, it must rest on the presupposition that WHITE PPL = NORMAL, but doesn't that imply NOT WHITE PPL are NOT NORMAL?  and isn't that RACIST?  I don't fully agree with Lars's views, but he makes some good points and he has a beautiful body for a 76 year old punk rock 'n' roller ;)