KAY SLAY NEED SOME WOOSAH!

After a decade of gleefully hating on anything comin out of NYC, ya boy has finally grown tired of the company line. Yes, NYC rappers are a pompous, narcissistic, entitled bunch, but that's just what New Yorkers is like! It's come to da point where even New Yorkers is hatin on NYC rappers, which is surely a sign dat we need Trump to make America great again. And it's da very same people moanin about New York rappers bein reactionary prisoners of influence who's always longing for the city to return to some non-existent idealized version of da bad old days. What is it, y'all? Do you want Desiigner or do you want "The Truth?"

We at RAP MUSIC HYSTERIA! are done hating on New York. Instead we gonna celebrate a true Harlem legend, and one of da most excitable gents to walk da planet, Mr. DJ Kay Slay! Forget that the title 50 Shades Of Slay conjures images of the Drama King in nipple clamps. My mans is expanding his mindframe, dunn dunn. He even got Mistah F.A.B. and DJ Paul on this bitch! Dezzy Dez is mad worldly, unlike that toy Fat Joe a/k/a Crack TATS cru. On the second Cannibal Ox sounding ass track of recent vintage, Kay Slay expands his horizons to exotic Philly and gets Young Chris to crawl out the Tastykake wrapper he been hidin under to beat the "E" phoneme into the ground. Real lyrical craftsman, ya feel? Strap on ya chancletas young blood, cause Kay Slay even holla'd at Miami and said, "Yo, I need a Miami rapper that sounds like he from Newark!" Boom, Gunplay closes the shit out. But don't worry my New York chauvinists, we got some battle rapper named Loaded Lux w/ the opening verse, and you know he talkin bout shit like "lyrical acumen!" New York lives, boy, fuck what you heard!

OWN A PIECE OF STYLE WARS HISTORY!!

Graffiti ain't an element of rap music.  Some of its pioneers say it ain't even an element of hip-hop. My formulation is that hip-hop is an element of graffiti, but that don't clear up shit if rap music is an element of hip-hop.  Disputed taxonomy aside, Style Wars is easily a top 25 documentary, and remains essential viewing for anyone interested in the era that produced this Thing we love so much.

Certain questions remain.  How did the mild-mannered Dez become the eternally agitated KAY SLAY?  Will "Zephyr & I" be on the next Streetsweeper tape?  If, as legend has it, Cap worked in a bakery during this time, does that mean he was frosting dainty cakes in between terrorizing New York's most elite mass transit vandals?  Was Kase2 sent from the future?  And was Min referring to the swoop on Cap's "a" or his actual hair when clowning his "Lucille Ball haircut?"

IDK, but I do know that u can cop some original stickers from Min for $25.  Perfect stocking stuffers for the documentary aficionados in your life, spesh if u lost the eBay auction for a feeding tube from Titicut Follies.