KAY SLAY NEED SOME WOOSAH!

After a decade of gleefully hating on anything comin out of NYC, ya boy has finally grown tired of the company line. Yes, NYC rappers are a pompous, narcissistic, entitled bunch, but that's just what New Yorkers is like! It's come to da point where even New Yorkers is hatin on NYC rappers, which is surely a sign dat we need Trump to make America great again. And it's da very same people moanin about New York rappers bein reactionary prisoners of influence who's always longing for the city to return to some non-existent idealized version of da bad old days. What is it, y'all? Do you want Desiigner or do you want "The Truth?"

We at RAP MUSIC HYSTERIA! are done hating on New York. Instead we gonna celebrate a true Harlem legend, and one of da most excitable gents to walk da planet, Mr. DJ Kay Slay! Forget that the title 50 Shades Of Slay conjures images of the Drama King in nipple clamps. My mans is expanding his mindframe, dunn dunn. He even got Mistah F.A.B. and DJ Paul on this bitch! Dezzy Dez is mad worldly, unlike that toy Fat Joe a/k/a Crack TATS cru. On the second Cannibal Ox sounding ass track of recent vintage, Kay Slay expands his horizons to exotic Philly and gets Young Chris to crawl out the Tastykake wrapper he been hidin under to beat the "E" phoneme into the ground. Real lyrical craftsman, ya feel? Strap on ya chancletas young blood, cause Kay Slay even holla'd at Miami and said, "Yo, I need a Miami rapper that sounds like he from Newark!" Boom, Gunplay closes the shit out. But don't worry my New York chauvinists, we got some battle rapper named Loaded Lux w/ the opening verse, and you know he talkin bout shit like "lyrical acumen!" New York lives, boy, fuck what you heard!

GUNPLAY AND DJ MUSTARD WALK INTO A DELICATESSEN

This been out for a minute, and I still feel as ambivalent as I did before it got the video treatment.  Gunplay sound good over Mustard beats, but wit YG on the track it's more like he a guest at the table, like Gunplay made some killer pastrami on rye but YG brought a proprietary blend of mustard, and so Gunplay feels conflicted about the whole thing.  He can't take full credit for how delicious the sandwiches are because YG's proprietary blend of whole-grain mustard is integral to its successful bouquet of flavors.  He sittin at Mustard's kid's table like white people at a Lord Jamar potluck.

Got another quibble with the video.  At the end Gunplay runs over the hood of a po-lice cruiser like he been possessed by the ghost of Dan Bucci.  The cop draws his gun and stands flatfooted like Otto Porter on Tony Snell, looking on as Gunplay gives the Crown Vic the business end of his Chucks and disappears into the wind.  This makes no sense.  Maybe it would be socially irresponsible to show Gunplay taking two plugs to the back - or livin up to his name and blastin caps - but rap has never been about social responsibility.

DAT BOI GUNPLAY RE-DONEDID "NANN NWORD"

 

Aw snap, sadatay my damies?  It's been a long minute and whatever 'cause ya boy done left da Jax Hole for da big city of Cheyenne (Chey-Town, stand up!).  I been movin weight and all that, bringing back snow for all da skiers on the Jackson Hole slopes if you know what I'm sayin!  But let's get this shit crackin already, chuuuch!

So dis kid GUNPLAY comin outta Miami been spittin some weird shit for a while, ex-cokehead flows that are mad cartoonish but technically proficient.  He is one ugly ass dude and with those dirty ass dreads you know he be smellin like pickled ball sweat.  He even mention how he ain't bathe in 3 days in this remake of da TRICK DADDY classic, "Nann Black Person."  SMH Gunplay, I know utilities is expensive n shit these days but you gotta maintain your hygiene swag.

 So da remake is aight, but even better is dat he got da baddest bitch TRINA on da track!  Oh snaps!  Trina used to get my wee wee so hard back in the day, in particular that hot outfit she was wearin in da "Shut Up" video, all struttin around like some hot baton-twirling strumpet.  Ay dios mio!

Yo TRINA, if you ever find yoself in Jackson Hole, WY, holla at ya boy!  I got mad hookups in dis bitch.  I could get you 1/2 off on ski rentals and a 3-day pass on da house!  Chuuuuch!