MONEY AIN'T SHIT WHEN YOU SOFT AS HELL

Last time I seen him he was talkin that shit / Found out his new girl can't suck no dick! 

Ayo! Trina been quiet for the past few years, but like a sexy strain of the shingles virus, she never really goes away. Over 15 years in the game and counting - add it up, cause it's an achievement for an artist of any gender in this fickle industry. If this song becomes the radio killah it deserves to be, it will be the hardest shit out there by a long mile. Even more impressive how she rescues the term fuckboy from its ravaging at the clammy hands of Run The Jewels fanboys.

Reminds me of the string of refurbished retro-electro bangers Meek was dropping at the beginning of the year, before he returned to making the kind of sappy butt-rap that's just callin out for a Scott Stapp feature. Trina >>> Meek & Nicki any day. "Fuck Boy" ≥ "Boyz-n-the-Hood"??? U can hate me now!

SILKK THE SHOCKER'S "THAT'S COOL": DEFT SELF-REFLEXIVE COMMENTARY ON THE EXESS-ERA RAP VIDEO OR WHIMPERING DEATH KNELL?

 

 Me and my goon was real lit one night, bottle-breaking drunk, swerving through traffic in a vintage Dodge Dart.  With a crooked smile and a long swig of Mad Dog 20/20, I put on an old CD-R mix of Clear Channel rap I'd paid $5 for in middle school.  SILKK THE SHOCKER and TRINA's "That's Cool" started rattling through the sound system.  "This is fantastic," saith my goon, as he located it on iTunes for the reasonable price of $.99.

When we awoke from the revelry we were locked in an uneasy embrace, our limbs flecked with scrapes and scratches of mysterious origin, the Dodge Dart lodged firmly in a ditch.  "Why did I download this garbage?" he whined.  I excused myself from the situation and left my buddy to his automotive difficulties, but the SILKK track still remained in my memory.

I found still more bounty in the video.  After an establishing shot of snow-covered mountains, SILKK smirks through a wink-wink nudge-nudge explanation of the video:  "No, not in Hawaii, not Cancun, not on the beach.  I'm bout to do this thing in Juneau, Alaska!"

The beat, a typical early-00s rap pastiche of vaguely Asian influence, begins as three desperados on snowmobiles tear-ass over a bend of snow.  They proceed to release Hell upon the slopes throughout the video, performing gnarly blowouts and perilous mogul carves, while SILKK joins them via green screen.  His looks are on-point: fur-lined parka, chic skarf, an impressive assortment of knit hats.

What defines this as a product of its era, however, are the goggles resting on his forehad.  We all remember the curious run of goggles as fashion accessory in mid/late-'90s hip-hop, but in this situation SILKK actually needs them.  What do we make of this?  Is it a knowing send-up of the uselessness of Rap Goggles, obligatory realist prop, or merely an off-the-cuff gag?

Intention doesn't necessarily matter, for the goggles signify multitudes, as does the video.  It's a fish-out-of-South-Beach recontextualization of the Bad Boy style rap video, just as much as it is goofy fun, just as much as it is an admission of the same style of video-making's exhausted possibilities.  The automobile and video hoe tropes have been done so many times that the only way to burnish them with some degree of newness is to place them in an outlandish locale.  The cycle continues.

Also, TRINA is a good rapper.

DAT BOI GUNPLAY RE-DONEDID "NANN NWORD"

 

Aw snap, sadatay my damies?  It's been a long minute and whatever 'cause ya boy done left da Jax Hole for da big city of Cheyenne (Chey-Town, stand up!).  I been movin weight and all that, bringing back snow for all da skiers on the Jackson Hole slopes if you know what I'm sayin!  But let's get this shit crackin already, chuuuch!

So dis kid GUNPLAY comin outta Miami been spittin some weird shit for a while, ex-cokehead flows that are mad cartoonish but technically proficient.  He is one ugly ass dude and with those dirty ass dreads you know he be smellin like pickled ball sweat.  He even mention how he ain't bathe in 3 days in this remake of da TRICK DADDY classic, "Nann Black Person."  SMH Gunplay, I know utilities is expensive n shit these days but you gotta maintain your hygiene swag.

 So da remake is aight, but even better is dat he got da baddest bitch TRINA on da track!  Oh snaps!  Trina used to get my wee wee so hard back in the day, in particular that hot outfit she was wearin in da "Shut Up" video, all struttin around like some hot baton-twirling strumpet.  Ay dios mio!

Yo TRINA, if you ever find yoself in Jackson Hole, WY, holla at ya boy!  I got mad hookups in dis bitch.  I could get you 1/2 off on ski rentals and a 3-day pass on da house!  Chuuuuch!