Tuesday, October 4, 2016

BAEDEKER MON TING


Sup y'all. RMH ain't nann so provincial as as a mere Rappe Blogue. We citizens of the world, yo! On my days off from the box factory, I be hangin out at Whole Foods samplin exotic dishes and asking anyone with the slightest hint of melanin to bless me wit some of their culture's music. Usually they tell me to fuck myself or snitch me out to the white-dreadlocked manager, but sometimes they look at my kufi-keffiyeh kombo and realize I'm an ally.

 
CARTEL DE SANTA - ES DE LEY
This was recommended to me by a cat eyein' the chicken marsala in the pre-made food trough. He described em as a mix between Cypress Hill, Vybz Kartel, Kottonmouth Kings, and Beck, "without the gay shit." I said, "Hand me a test tube, 'cause ya boy about to nuuuut!" He walked away with his marsala as I hit a "CHUUUUUUUUCH" for a good 15 minutes.

 
CHI CHING CHING - THE REASONING
This was recommended to me by a Mike Pence looking MF coppin some Kashi Good Friends Cereal. He said his name was Fiber Mane, but I don't believe him. Chi Ching Ching back after his "Nacho" and "Roast Or Fry" slam dizzunks with a non-food-themed jawn over some ambient-sounding IDM shit Lil B might have yelled "20 on my dick, I'm a pretty bitch" over back in 2009.

YouTube commenter hungrybruce has this to say: "You should have gave this to Popcaan to dj. Ching work on the flow and delivery next time." Now me and Popcaan done made our peace even tho he a bitch for blocking me on Twitter after I spammed his shit wit my business idea for Jerk and Scotch Bonnet-flavored Popcaan™, but I don't want him too get too Akonian over this shit. Like my momma always said, "Too many Akons and you got a glitch in the Matrix, word to God."

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