Tuesday, September 1, 2015
A JOKE WITH THE PUNCHLINE "SUP PLIES?"
Plies will never be a critic's darling, but he has something infinitely more valuable: co-signs from Star and Lord Jamar. Although often painted as a homophobe, L.J. didn't seem to mind when Star got handsy after Vlad plied em with orange juice and vodka like a creepy upperclassman.
Anywho, Plies test-drives some Jahlil Beats on Ain't No Mixtape Bih, but them shits is like ascots and cravats: great if you can pull em off, but they ain't for everybody. The best songs are produced by Shawn T. "I Got It" is G-funk meets Miami Vice - one hand on the strap, the other on my Keytar. Plies rides the wave with goon exuberance, cause this one's for the ignorant MFs riding Sea Doos into bridges (apologies to Sean Kingston).
Apropos of nothing, Plies could have had a second career as a horror movie villain if 40 Glocc had successfully kicked down the mens room door. It's the end of the movie. Our protagonist is in bed, finally safe. They never found Plies's body, but surely nothing could have survived that kind of immolation...Or could it? He blows out the candle and closes his eyes when he hears a voice braying against the silence: "Pussy ass..."