SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD JUST PONY UP THE CASH FOR A SECOND ROOM

YouTube killed the video star, and that's aight with me. I was tired of seein the same cheeseburger in paradise visuals, bunch of dudes hangin out on the beach wearin wifebeaters and plaid shorts, presumably poppin boners from watchin all them callipigeons saunter by in pieces from Satan's summer line. I'm only interested in one thing, rarely answered by the waist-up framing: Are they rocking sandlogged Air Forces or the effete open toe? Cam don't get enough credit for ending an entire footwear's career. Nigh ten years later, ya boy still dealin with unresolved sandal issues.

Today there's 100 sub-minor masterpieces in place of every gauche cumshot of the Clinton era. It's better that way, provided you're on the side of quantity. In spite of the apparent sausage party in the hotel room, the video for "Way I'm Acting" faithfully transposes the narcotic slop of its source with the modest workmanship that now defines the independent rap featurette - real people, real stories. In addition to the fantastically arrogant and hateful break-up jam "Mr. Perfect" ("Bitch left me for a spot on the couch, at her baby daddy momma house!"), Down To The Wire 3's one-two punch of "Way I'm Acting" and "Finessin & Twistin" got ya boy sloshin his Vicks, screamin "Izzo Kizmet!" at the Brazilians next door. A come up and come down for sloppy nights of unspeakable activities. Central bookings is thatta way, man!