MY OWN FAKE FAKE SHORE DRIVE

The Midwest is a mystery to me. Chicago? Don't quite understand it. So it's New York with less assholes, more gun-related homicides, worse segregation, and horrible pizza? Y'all need to talk about yourselves some more. Get a Marty Scorsese for the promo department, Abel Ferrara if your money is short. But since half y'all rap bloggers never caught a body or pushed a key, I feel as qualified as anyone to discuss Chicago rap. Let's get it. Chuuuuuch.



RICO RECKLEZZ - KOOLIN IN HELL INTRO
This guy is definitely a moran, and he has those terrifying Joe Jackson devil eyebrows. His raps are hamfisted and catatonic. I used to sell drugs, that wasn't really my thing / Then I started robbin, like I hang with Batmane? Lol.

At times, however, an unremarkable rapper can come up with a line that isn't particularly clever or well written, but somehow embeds itself in your memory like the lyrical equivalent of an earworm. Trinidad James did it with, Pop a molly, I'm sweatin (Woo!). Bobby Shmurda did it with, I been sellin' crack since like the fifth grade! J. Cole did it, unfortunately, when he said, Dick so big, it's like a foot is in your mouth. That wasn't something I wanted to keep thinking about, but that's the nature of these things, you feel? Can't always choose what goes in the noodle. Rico Recklezz accomplishes this with the line, Fuck the bench / Coach, put a nigga in the game! The part about his sister getting shot is legitimately compelling. Add it to a nod-out beat that sounds like a goonish "Broke Boi," and we've got ourselves a 3/5 Mazda MPV blockbeater!



600BREEZY - 6IX HUNNED (FT. YOUNG $WAV)
600Breezy is one of Drake's regional rap friends, I guess? Ay Aubrey, you always welcome to write about your favorite internet discoveries on RAP MUSIC HYSGTERAI! We won't edit the soul out ya shit, jufeel? On "Guwop Flow," 600Beezy manages to capture some of the verbal peacockery of its namesake, but the comparison is ultimately the wishful thinking of an eager Daniel-san. What really excites me about this guy is he tapped the legend OJ Da Juiceman for three separate songs! That, and the fact he named his mixtape after George "Iceman" Gervin, suggests 600Breezy shares our reverence for marginalized rap stylists and pre-Jordan NBA history. Breezy, send me some clips!