STACKIN BREADFRUITS

With summer approaching, I gotta put my skis away and hit the pause button on the winter warz I be fightin in my soul. You might catch me on a December night in my Arc'teryx and Lugz, warming my frozen limbs by a dumpster fire in Hialeah with Rip the Jacker on repeat, but by June ya boy has transformed into the Mayor of Margaritaville.

The song of the summer probably won't be a rap song. As we all torture ourselves trying to find it, I'ma be listenin to Chi Ching Ching and sippin on some spiked moss. RAP MUSIC HYSTERIA is an extremely lucrative blog, but as a side hustle I work nights as a dispatcher for Miami's fourth largest yellow cab service. As I fill the dispatch room with caffeine farts, my man Waggy T been puttin me on to new sounds via his Friday night show on WEDR. This is where I first heard Don Andre's "Tom Cruise," which is better than most songs from last year. Chi Ching Ching appeared on the remix, and now he has a great song about eating breadfruit. Now that every other rap song is about taking prescription drugs, it's refreshing to hear these wholesome dancehall fellows extolling one of nature's many non-narcotic bounties. His new song "Nacho" is also very good and food-centric.

I thought dancehall was on a downward spiral once Vybz got locked up and the snoozefest known as Popcaan became its new poster boy, but now I'm so jazzed up I'm filling out paperwork to start my own breadfruit farm. Rap music's misogyny, homophobia, and glorification of violence have really been bothering me lately, so perhaps this site will soon be known as DANCEHALL MUSIC HYSTERIA!