Tuesday, August 23, 2016

WORST JEANS IN RAP


"quality rap pants" - dj drama

Now I know u be flocking to PRAM MUSIC HYSTERIA! for intellectual discussions of da highest echelon, but we gonna take a break from our regular programming to talk about pants. Rap has a checkered history with denim. Here are some of the worst offenders.

MOZZY
Following Mozzy on Instagram inspired this post. This guy's jeans look like a mid-life crisis creative directed by Vivienne Westwood. Mozzy wears jeans that Adam Ant and Johnny Depp would see and be like, "Nah, them shits is too gaudy." These are the pants you wear when you decide to kill yourself, but only after emptying your bank account and flouting the rules of nature in one final Abu Dhabi blow-out bash.

FETTY WAP
Fetty rocking the "single mom in the bondage club" look. If you Google worst jeans in rap, he is literally the first result. The Arizona Balloon Festival sweatshirt is dope tho.

2CHAINZ
The legacy of 2 Chainz will always be tarnished for popularizing the Jon Gosselin look. Polo's popularity in the '90s had journalists trying to reconcile why inner-city black kids would want to dress like preppy white kids. More perplexing: why rappers (or anyone) would want to look like Sunset Boulevard trash.

ASAP ROCKY
That said, if I had to choose between ASAP Rocky's Eurotrashaloons and True Religions, I'd have the whole world romping around rockin the Buddhaman like gay choo-choo conductors.

JAY-Z
Bragging about not wearing skinny jeans on record, while conspicuously reducing his denim footprint, is the story of why Jay-Z has sucked since 2003. It's hard to believe this tool is the same guy who composed the greatest ode to the greatest rap jeans of all time.

ANYONE WEARING OVERALLS AFTER 2PAC
"Let the late great veteran live," he says to the performer striking a Christlike pose.

WIZ KHALIFA
Skinny jeans reduce sperm count, so how many lives does Wiz have to answer for? Pittsburgh's Pol Pot of Pants.

HONORABLE UN-MENTION: SOULJA BOY
Soulja Boy deserves a Lifetime Achievement Award in Rap Jeans for his '07/'08 work. When you're trying to get the right fit, a good rule of thumb is to try looking like Dikembe Mutombo doing that thing where you put your knees on your shoes and pretend to be a midget. His output has slowed down, but Soulja is a true god of large pants.

4 comments:

  1. This post really made me realize how ridiculous hip hop fashion has been in the last 10 years or so...what happened to rockin clean guess, polo, and hilifiger?

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    1. idk man, lord jamar is right about certain things

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  2. Gotta give an extra special shout out to Curren $y's big bro Mr. Marcelo for pairing some bootcut monstrosities with some hideous black pleather fashion kicks that look like dad's driving shoes.

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    1. uniquely awful, thx for sharing

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