Saturday, December 14, 2019
50 BEST RAPS OF 2019
2019: a diaper odyssey
Another year in the books, another decade in the grave. If, when I began this blog 2012, you told me I'd still be infrequently active at the end of the decade, I would've looked you in your demoniac time-traveling eyes and said, "Disappointing, but well within the realm of possibilities." Then I'd brandish my wacking baton and hold you hostage, demanding that you repent for violating the laws of space and time in between performing elaborate rap-hand choreography to an unintelligible, self-censored version of "All Gold Everything."
Why persist in the tepid breeze of the digital yawn? I haven't earned so much as an oxidized penny toiling away in this sinking morass of a city. A labor of love it is not. I am Ahab in pursuit of a white whale who becomes more inscrutable with the passing of each year. It's beyond good and evil, doesn't age, occupies infinite spaces at once. I closed my eyes and it had an undercut; when I opened them I saw a rainbow mane sinking into the deep. I'm getting old. My eyes are failing. Let me die.
I cannot die. Death piles up around me—I saw the most Dionysian rappers of their generation destroyed by Actavis and Pfizer—but I cannot die, it finds me dry and lacking, and so I make a list, a catalogue of semi-meaningful consumption.
Have you seen my list?
03 Greedo - 10 Purple Summers
Z Money - Where Ya Sent Em
Jooba Loc - Won't Shoot
Duwap Kaine - Plays
TisaKorean - Double Dare (Soapy Anthem)
AzChike & AzSwaye - Oouh
D Savage - Pill
Kemba - Deadass
Adé Hakim - Love Is Worth My Time
Asian Da Brat - Eskimo Flow
Chippass, E-40, ALLBLACK - Me
Baby 9eno & Cheecho - Germ
Slauson Malone & Pink Siifu - Off Me! and or The Wake Pt. 1 & 2
The Mekanix & Husalah - Buat My Money
Memo 600 & King Von - Exposing Me (Remix)
Quando Rondo & NoCap - New Ones
Young Nudy - Long Ride
Philthy Rich - Don't Forget
FMB DZ - 2K19
Gunna - Yao Ming
ZelooperZ & Earl Sweatshirt - Easter Sunday 97
Valee - You & Me Both
Stunna 4 Vegas - Fuckery
Megan Thee Stallion & Juicy J - Simon Says
Scarfo Da Plug & Brodinski - Off The Leash
Styles P - Give N Take
Soldier Kidd - No Rap Cap
Polo G - Deep Wounds
Malibu Ken - Suicide Big Gulp
Reese LAFLARE - What's Real
Slowthai & Mura Masa - Doorman
Kayvo & Keezah - Chicken Talk
Memo 600 - Steppers
$ilkmoney - Africa
Lil Tecca - Ransom
Mavi - Bloodbath
Pivot Gang & Kari Faux - Mortal Kombat
BlocBoy JB - Mercedes
Mach-Hommy & Quelle Chris - Chiney Brush
King Carter & Pink Siifu - Problems
NAV & Meek Mill - Tap
Swervyy, MallyBo, B-Rock - Do Yo Shit
Blvck Spvde & Ohbliv - Parallel
Rico Nasty - Time Flies
Blu & Oh No - Boogie To Flex
YS Ft. 1TakeJay, Ohgeesy - Bompton (Remix)
Danny Brown & Run The Jewels - 3 Tearz
Peso Chamberlain - Willie Mays
Rod Wave & Lil Durk - Heart On Ice (Remix)
Pop Smoke - Welcome To The Party
051 Montana & 051 Drilla - Facts
Erule - Listen Up
3re Tha Hardaway - Born in tha Ghetto
Prince Rahiem - Loose My Money
Ted Kamal - How Is You Feelin Vro?
Fonzworth Bentley, Kanye West, Andre 3000 - Everybody
Fonzworth Bentley, Pimp C, Lil Wayne - C.O.L.O.U.R.S.
Harlem World - We Both Frontin
Ma$e - Someone Like You
Sporty Thievz - Cheapskate
the decade in short
2010: roflmao check out this meme rap xD
2011: no but seriously, this meme rap is actually good, this guy has heard of cormega
2012: hey did you know the rappers in atlanta are taking MDMA? and that chicago has rap?
2013: maybe we can build a brand intellectualizing the bones of swag-rap
2014: did you know they break records in strip clubs? i hope to go to one one day.
2015: hey did you know the rappers in atlanta are taking MDMA sadly and androgynously? they're doing it in strip clubs, which is where they break the records.
2016: "at least we're gonna get some badass political rap! remember rock against reagan?" you say to yourself as zoomers follow you down the unlit street, ready to pry the zeitgeist from your aging fingers
2017: where did all these crazy kids come from and why do they all like kurt cobain?
2019: ok so get this, it's a branded advertainment show pairing très badass dababy w/ huggies's little snugglers line + death
2020: doing the mayor pete dance as the world burns?