LIL DURK ANGLING FOR THAT CHARMIN MONEY!

Wake up in the morning, take a piss and grab a strap / Then I wipe my ass and then I pour a cup of Ac

Ayo, I'm fuckin with this new Durk joint a lot mo' than I thought I would! What changed in the time between 300 Days 300 Nights and the Def Jam brand coaster he dropped last summer? If "My Beyonce" is any indication, it's cause he got some Loaf in his life. I know when I'm gettin TLC and nutting regularly I'm happier and more productive, so good for both of 'em.

So not only does he have the best fingerbang jam since "Let Me Hold You," he also one-ups Future's "When you wake up before you brush your teeth / You grab your strap, nigga" line talkinbout takin a piss and wipin his ass! Not to get too fancypants on ya ass, but this is a major advancement of the culture, not unlike when James Joyce dropped the Ulysses mixtape and devoted a few pages to a character taking a shit and wiping his ass. 300 Days 300 Nights also proves Durk's business savvy. He's goin hardbody for that cheesy grits money on "Waffle House," while "Make It Back" seems like a subtler bid for that toilet paper yaper.

Here's hoping this is the beginning of a new trend, where rappers describe da banal details of their morning routine. Rap values realness, and what's realer than rollin outta bed, wiping the cold out ya eyes, sippin on some Folgers and waitin for the BMs to drop? I can't even consider blasting myself until I've had my coffee.