Monday, December 21, 2015


The death of authenticity has preoccupied nerds since the dawn of the modern age, just ask ya horny professor who seduced students with Benjamin, Baudrillard, benzos and Bordeaux, or Fat Orson Welles chewin on steak in F for Fake. These days it's hard to tell whether a rapper came up through the traditional community-based channels, or if he/she cobbled together some ill signifiers he/she saw on Tumblr and created a life. They look the same from a distance, but if you squint ya eyes a lil you can tell, as the insufferable meme-phrase goeswho learned this from crime and who learned this online!

Far from me to be an arbiter of what's real and what's not in the rap game, so let's go to the drawing board. Lucki Eck$ I guess is some sad weirdo from Chicago who mumbles through raps that could be described as "dark, gothic, introspective." I dig the dragging yaself thru the desert as you're dying from dehydration, but also still rapping for some reason delivery. The clickbait title is another story. '98 is a landmark rap year, so come correct if you're gonna associate yaself with it. Is it supposed to be ironic? Eck$ couldn't sound less like Jigga in '98. He doesn't even sound like the current "out of breath from killin the elliptical machine" version. Eck$, you gotta do more than cop Iceberg off eBay if you gonna be Jigga in '98. The good: rap seems to be correcting its historical amnesia. The bad: it generally serves no purpose beyond a superficial nostalgia grab.

Lil Uzi Vert has a fantastic rap name and some garbage-ass music. He's from Philly, but don't expect none of the grit or heat you associate wit Broad St. bullies, Lil Uzi Vert is on some druggy cretin shit. Decided to check for him again after a strong showing on "Big Racks," and was once again disappointed. The Sonny Digital beat makes an accessory of his raps. Sonny stays underrated, the Zombies to London and Metro's Beatles and Stones. Philly, you deserve better than Lil Uzi Vert's ATL jockin! Y'all can't let Lil Uzi Vert be your hottest rapper and have some Los Angeleno transplant rep ya city in Creed.

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