Monday, March 30, 2015


"Learn some game, buy you a JT tape, study relentlessly.  It's the only way to go..."

So yo, back in December I caught my ho in flagrant delicious with the septic tank technician.  All the sherm I was smokin at the time was makin me paranoid, so I didn't jump to conclusions till saw them bumpin uglies in my racecar bed.  I ran screamin all the way to my mom's house and started bumpin some badass shit like Staind.  Mom duke throws a cassette of JT Money's Pimpin On Wax at my head as rivulets of tears soak my Versace wifebeater, talkinbout, "I didn't raise you to fall to pieces over some raggedy ass hoe!  Sucka for love, you got some female traits."

Following Mumsy's lead, "Ho Problems" and "Playa Ass Shit" soon became my life's manual.  Future might mope around and fill the void with drugs, but JT offers a different path: resignation, acceptance, and cold-blooded self-preservation.  I used to see the pimp shit only as a cartoon audiodrama of amorality and callousness.  Now it was as if I had a scoundrel uncle tellin me painful truths he learned the hard way, Obi Wan by way of Rudy Ray Moore.  Finally I appreciated the truth of this stoic's mantra: sometime ya just gotta let a ho be a ho!

Now the oldest defense of rap misogyny is when a rapper says he's only talkin about a "certain kind of woman," but I ain't even gotta trot out that wack cliche.  Pimpin' - the pop culture version, not the venerable profession of sex-monging - is just another approach to manhood, ya dig (tho ladies is pimps too)?  Just another way of surviving the endless miseries and indignities of life.  Rather than being vulnerable to love and its potential for pain, JT advocates closing oneself off to the world and sayin, "No one comes in, STAY OUT!,"  but doing so in a way that engenders inflated self-esteem and the illusion of agency.   The real target of these songs is men who can't take responsibility for their mistakes: misandry using misogyny as its vehicle.  And yo, isn't contradiction a mark of great art? 

What if your girl let another nigga hit it?
Would you accept it or would you cry like a bitch?
You'd probably try to kill her then kill yourself
Sayin she wasn't real but you ain't real yourself

The first lines is actually mad feministic, he basically summarizing Andrea Dworkin or some ho, i.e. men don't have the right to control a woman's sexuality.  JT then suggests that the bitch he is addressing - you, the listener and pupil - would kill his girl and himself upon discovering her infidelity, an astute if caustic reminder of the prevalence of murder-suicides involving domestic partners.  In these situations, the male is overwhelmingly the killer.  Decidedly not some playa ass shit.

Cuz you knew she was a ho when you met her
But the pussy so good you just wanted it forever
And it hurt you to know another nigga got it
But tell me dogg, what could you do to stop it?

Yo, it's true!  I knew she was a ho when she sucked my dick in a Carl's Jr. parking lot for some onion rings, so I only got myself to blame for the outcome.  No man can tell a woman what she can or can't do with her body.  JT just shows that pimps were pioneers in sex positive attitudes.  In the words of John Donne, "E'ry pimp, a romantic formerly was / When in love gained clap / Thence his knob dripp'd pus."

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