Thursday, May 28, 2015

THROWBACK INEPTITUDE: THE ATLANTIC JUST KINGED THIS CLICK-HATE SHIT!



Sometimes everything's goin OK in my life and I think, "Yo, I could really use a nice shot of rage mainlining thru the bloodstream."  This afternoon I seent an Atlantic article touting ASAP Rocky's new album as prog-rap or some shit, with a tagline that had me pissin driblets I was so mad: "Rocky’s previous work has proved influential and other buzzed-about rappers have lately been name-dropping acid, so maybe the culture’s moving on from molly and its revved-up, day-glo aesthetic."  Oh no you didn't, Atlantic!

I held off reading it cause I wasn't about to start throwin bows in polite company, but now in the comfort of my padded cell I can bounce off the walls n shit without fear of hurting old ppl (still wear my helmet tho, safety first).   This shit is a minor masterpiece in its own way, mainly as a callback to an older era.  The Internet changed tha music writing game with all its hyperfragmentation, an incalculable advancement in terms of quality.  Back in the day tho, there were fewer voices in this wonderful rainbow, O, this gossamer tapestry!, of conversation, maybe one or two pop music critics at ya local paper, usually middle-aged white guys who loved the era's version of Wilco, and their shitty coverage had the gravitas of appearing in newsprint.

The Atlantic is bringin that back, boy!  This mufuh talkin bout how ASAP Rocky's new album is proggy because drugs, even though it is obviously the rap equivalent of melodic post-grunge (cf. Hum, Superhog, Cracker, Smashing Pumpkins, Toadies, New Radicals [tho they ain't real post-grunge if we bein strict about it]).  Dis article seems deliberately engineered to rub anyone with a more than casual interest in rap the wrong way, so Ima tell myself it's a "happening" like the Dadas used to do before they were hunted into extinction by the Native Americans (p/k/a Indians), otherwise I would let an automatic drill burrow deep in my brain. Yo Atlantic, sign me up! I got a great idea for a thinkpiece on Kanye as the post-racial Bob Dylan! Y'all wanna see my essays on Beyonce's secrete feminism?

Related question: Has ASAP Rocky switched his focus from rapping to being a bottomless resource of enraging news stories?   Maybe he's the true media prankster!   Cloud-rap will never die, beeyoch!  Catch me in the pit wit my cloud-rap vest on, I'll trade u my Main Attraktionz patch for your Yung Lean iron-on.

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