Wednesday, July 1, 2015

THINKING ABOUT DIPSET, TOM SNYDER, CAB CALLOWAY



1.
Why didn't Dipset ever have a white guy?  Not counting Mizzle.  For a group that was such a carefully constructed visual spectacle, they could have done a lot with a token Caucasoid placed in outlandish outfits and incongruous scenarios.



2.
Lost in most remembrances of the great Tom Snyder and Iggy Pop tête-à-tête, where a haggard Iggy describes himself, cogently, as a Dionysian artist, is the curious list of artists Iggy names as influences: Sun Ra and Howlin' Wolf are easily reconciled, Cab Calloway and Fats Waller less so. I took the liberty of transcribing the exchange.

SNYDER: The people that you're talking about could be described - in a one-word label again - as being conventional.

IGGY: No, they weren't at the time.  

SNYDER: But everything evolves, when you look back--

IGGY: They got conventional this year, but back then...back then they were sort of sleazy.

SNYDER: Indeed. As they say: jazz is rap.

IGGY:  Come on, man, not that again.  That's the bad cliche of bad cliches.  Only people who don't actually listen to rap or jazz say that.

SNYDER: I like eating creamed corn and apple pie at the State Fair.

IGGY:  And the worst is when people try to draw a straight line from Coltrane to LL Cool J as if the association somehow elevates the form.  Coltrane was working in the high art tradition. The analogy does not follow, no matter what Q-Tip tells you.

SNYDER: We had a goat when I was a kid, I named it Honus.  We were chums.  Do you want to touch my hair?  I like to make it look like a helmet.

IGGY:  But that's not to say there's no connection. The traceable connections just don't fall into the whole "because improvisation" agenda these ponytails want it to.  How about, I don't know, the stuff that actually has lyrics?  "Minnie The Moocher" is about this skeezer named Minnie who's fucking some junkie, and eventually golddigs her way to a townhouse and a diamond whip with platinum wheels.  It's like "Maria Maria" for the Geritol set.  Even Pac had to get on the remix. [simulates air horn noises]

SNYDER:  I have bad thoughts about my neighbor.

IGGY:  And Fats Waller was a funny fat guy, sort of a Harlemite Biz Markie but less talented.   Cab and Fats had songs for the smokers, too.

SNYDER:  I forgot to wear underwear today.  Nipple clamps.

IGGY:  I've had enough of this, you doe-eyed dairy farmer. I got something fo yo stinkin ass, ooooh I got somethin fo yo stinkin ass!  MY FOOT: in yo ass!   MY FIST: in yo face!  MY KNEE: in yo ribs!  MY, uh, FINGER: in yo eyyyyyyye!  Dipset, bitch.

Iggy pulls syringe from pants, stabs Snyder in jugular.   Syringe fills with blood.  Iggy drinks some and shoots the rest at camera lens.  Blood drips until entire frame is tinted red.

SNYDER [offscreen]:  Nyyaaaahhh! 

IGGY:  You nitwit! [slapping noise]

SNYDER:   Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!

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